Craving Detest.

Does the picture remind you of anything?

Time to talk about my dream (forgive me, for this is a rather bland blog).

I slept uncomfortably that night, and I woke up with an overwhelming sadness that I simply could not comprehend... I also slept in later than 10AM for the first time since the start of the holidays. It instigated nostalgia, where memories of past dreams and realities that I knew came back to me, and well, it's hard to distinguish between the two now.

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Twinkles of tiny lights shone down on me, and the moon smiled as I rested myself on a soft bed of grass, gazing at the orange haze that rimmed the atmosphere. Cool, crisp grass brushed against my skin, tickling the tiny hairs on the back of my neck as I settled. I turned to my right, and he was there- that is, the one I would call my closest guy friend, or my best friend, rather. And upon turning to my left, I found myself staring at you, the one I awed and admired so much; you were truly an amazing person. I was confused as to why you were there, but I settled for that fact, for I knew I wouldn't rather lying beside anyone else this pair.

I gazed at his sleeping figure for a moment, chuckling slightly at the alterations of our original plans to stargaze together, and turned back to the sparkling sky. My arms lay at my sides, caressing the soft grass, running my hands over as its stems bounced to and fro, and swayed as the wind softly whistled through my ears. The night was beautiful, and at first, I didn't notice the rustle of grass as you moved closer to me (we were lying about 30cm apart from each other, for personal comfort purposes), reaching your hand out towards me. It wasn't until you touched my hand, skimming yours over my fingers, clasping so gently and drawing my hand it closer to your warm body that I'd suddenly realised the limited proximity now between you and me. My body temperature soared; my face was flushed with an overwhelming heat, so hot that I could feel the cool winds biting against my burning skin. Your hand remained unclenched against my fingers, and only lightly bordered my cold hands with your soft, warm fingers, stroking my shaking skin with your thumb. My eyes widened in shock, and my breath was cut short. I turned my eyes towards you in horror, but you seemed to be sound asleep, aside from the uncanny smile spread across your face. I turned towards the night sky again, and I carefully slipped my hand out of yours, placing it behind me as I sat myself up to control my ventilation. My mind dazed to and fro, calculating and miscalculating the reasons for your actions, confusing me immensely.

I soon gave up, and I returned to lie beside you again, though I ensured to face towards him instead, curling into a fetal position that seemed comfortable enough atop the bed of grass (thankfully I had a pillow with me), and I pulled the blanket we shared over my head to shield myself from the cold. I sighed in scarce worry, and I whispered in his ear about what I faced, hoping he would give me some advice as to what I should do next, but he just laughed at me. I returned to my former spot, humiliated, and I buried my face into my pillow. The grass crunched as you drew closer to me once again, slipping your hand over my waist and resting it there. I began to burn up again, and a tear splintered into my eye as I struggled to keep level-headed. I stared at him as your body moulded against mine, and my mind began to overflow with curses as I squeezed my eyes shut in detest. I didn't want this, and I thought the fight to control this craving was over; my urges were faint, and now your actions left my mind in an uncontrollable self-hating state.

And I woke up.

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We aren't about to face the path of destruction, but rather, our path faces our destruction, and it is our choice to what we choose to destroy, whether it be our own lives, our family, our friends, and everything that surrounds us... or we can destroy our sins, our griefs, our walls and our demons.

I thought about that in the shower :]

LOL, Sarah.