Inquisitive Eyes.

It's not that you're at all special to me, because you're not. It's that to me, you're just special.

As Amy's currently feeling, as am I. I no longer feel such a need to blog anymore >_< even as much as I would like, it's just not so important to me as it was, probably last week. It was probably keeping me sane last week, because of - you know, Hillsong...

Dear Jesus, I'm so weak.

Haha. Anywho, I'm out of ideas, like a parched desert where a camel lumbers through, desperately thirsty for even a drop from an oasis. All there is are mirages, things that look existent, but alas! They just disappear as soon as you near them; they are but fake in this hot, dry land, where the sun's rays singe you with its heat, and beady drops of sweat pour out from your pores as you melt into the saddle, moulding into its curved shape. The camel doesn't help either. It simply fuses its own warmth with your own, and its fur is infested with fleas, mites, lice and the like, all the more annoying you, but you can't move, because movement causes friction, and what does friction cause? Ha, heat. I didn't even let you answer there, reader. (:

However, I do have a short excerpt that does NOT make any sense at all... it just sounds cool and profound, because you know, cryptic writing always has its ways. God, I love the cryptic mind you gave me. What annoys me is that I don't know how to decipher my own codes. =="

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I wanted to break him free, to set him out of this prison. I wanted to tear open the door, and knock boundless the chains that he bears. I wanted to raise him from the ocean trenches* that I'd drowned him in. His strength was long gone, and rodents gnarled at his toes as he struggled to even lift a finger. His eyes flickered in subtle desperation; what was left of his light shone through the faintest slits in his eyes deepset in his stark white face. He was absolutely covered in grease and grime; he was dirty, weighed down, and trapped.

He was in my prison. My prison of selfish love and desire that he only be with me. I wanted him to be forever mine, forever in my arms, forever gazing into my eyes. I wanted to be his only source of joy, but now he faces despair and grief. I wanted him to feel free how I did whenever I saw him, but now he's burdened with a weight that he can't even stand to bear. I wanted to show him I loved him, but instead he lies struggling to breathe; suffocating at the vines so tightly intertwined around him as I longed to hold him in my arms. My wicked heart tortured him as it pleased, and now he lay flat on the ground, tortured, beaten, hopeless, and in the palm of my hand.

But now, I'm letting my love go. I'm shattering the chains of my insecurity, and lifting up his burden of my selfish needs. I'm beating away the rodents, and I'm tearing my veins of tenacious physical touch, and I'm breaking down the walls of my prison. I'm bathing him in a river, and bringing colour back into his broken body. And finally, as I he stands on the pile of rubble that was once my love, my self love, and my selfish love, I will ignite his burnt out candle, and fan into flame his fire once again, and he will leave.

My love goes free.

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Well, I suppose it does have some sort of relevance... in some sort of unrealistically farfetched manner. On a lighter, perhaps more pleasant note, WE FOUND FORMAL DRESSES (that is, Kathy and I)! And they are by far some of the prettiest we've seen :) AND I GOT AN ORANGE UKULELE! AWESOME! I'm going to have so much fun with it (:

POINT TO PONDER: Would a deaf person be able to taste or feel the crunchiness of food (think about this the next time you eat a dorito chip!) My brother and I were talking about it in the car, and I couldn't come up with an answer, because you may notice as you're eating your dorito chip that you actually hear a lot of the crunchiness of the chip, other than feeling how crunchy it is in your mouth. So yeah, think about it. (;

Anywhos, I suppose I should be off. It's about now that is my sleeping time (1:57am, I have 16 hour days, and 8 hours sleep... usually. I napped for a bit when I got home today because I was so tired though. Hopefully I can wake up at 9-10!).

Toodle-doos!

LOL, Sarah.

*Don't you just love it when they use the title of the movie in a script? Well, I just used the URL for my blog in my story. AWESOME!