Erm, Christianity.

What we thought were once clouds are in fact the fumes we believe will sustain us till the end of time. What will become of the trees? Will the atmosphere be but a pool of black oil?

And here we are, gaping our mouths wide open to catch the stained acids of the sky; no longer will we drink the crystal drops of heaven, but the metal splinters of man's best treasures.

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*sigh*, we're so human. I'm so human.

It's quite difficult being of a Christian family and within the church; people almost expect you to be stronger than you really are; to be the mighty men and women of God of who nothing can sway them or cause them to stumble. The ridiculous expectations thrust upon us; we must be perfect, we must abide by God's law, we must not swear, we must be picture perfect, we must be good little church boys and girls.

I'm afraid that I can't live up to these expectations. In fact, I doubt anyone can. We're not radical, almost-angels and more holy than anyone else. We're only human.

Did you know that most churches consist of so many "sinful" people? Liars, Drug-addicts, Cheaters, Thieves, Alcoholics, Sex offenders... the list goes on.

I think it's fair to say that just because we're a bunch of Christians, it doesn't mean that we're not any less guilty. In fact, strangely enough as it is, we know that we're wrong-doers, sinners, disgusting low-lives that don't fit the "Christlike" persona.

And it doesn't mean we don't feel the pain and suffering of harsh lives. The only difference is- we hope. We hope and we hope and we hope in a future of bigger plans for us; plans to prosper us and not to harm us.

I can see where the statement "Christianity is perhaps one of the most difficult lifestyles to undertake", because I know that when we don't have hope, Satan doesn't need to worry about us. We've got nothing, so he'll leave us alone. But when we hope, and we hope and we hope, he despises it. So much so that he'll do anything to cause us to stumble. He'll attack us personally, our family, our friends, our possessions...

And I suppose I understand that under the condition of God's love, if we are willing to go all out for Him, we've got to be prepared to sacrifice. Our families, our possessions- our lives even.

In Vietnam and Thailand, people really do sacrifice their families. They are shunned from their communities, beaten on a daily basis because they choose hope. Speak the name of Jesus in a rural area in a country like Vietnam, and you should prepare to be killed.

All because of hope, hope, hope. How lucky we are to be able to hope without stumbling over our family's lives.

And I'm not saying that I've got a hard lifestyle. I've got an easy one, actually, but I'm faced with human experience in a human body... I stumble, I fall. But I get back up again. I cry, I lose heart, and yes, even faith sometimes... but I hope.

You will stumble, you will fall. And maybe you will get back up again, or just accept that once you're down at the bottom, Satan won't worry about you because you have no future. Or you can hope, hope, hope, and stand on God's foundations, because God has a bigger plan for you.

LOL, Sarah.
Don't tell God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your God is! - Ha, cheesy.