Good friend.

I stared at his withdrawn figure icily, before turning to leave. This was too much for me to bear, I could not look at him any longer without wanting to seriously hurt him. My jaw began to shake violently, and in an effort to stop the rest of myself from shaking, I snapped it shut. I forced my fingers through my hair, almost ripping the very strands as I balled them into fists. I stuggled to keep myself calm as I inhaled sharply. I refused to exhale again, and I turned around and headed for the door.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I grasped for the handle, and forcing the door open, swinging it to the side. It hit the wall beside it with a loud smack. The door would have almost swung back if I hadn't almost punched it back against the wall again. My body shook momentarily in reaction the second bang, but I quickly took control of myself, squaring my shoulders and stepping through the doorframe. However, I could not manage to pull the rest of myself through. I was frozen midstep, fist on the door, facing away from him, for fear of needlessly hurting him more.

There was a dreadfully long silence between the two of us.

"I'm sorry..." A fragile voice floated towards me, followed by a step and a creak from the hollow floorboards. I did not move; my muscles tensed, and suddenly I feared cramping and collapsing. But I disregarded that thought as I concentrated on my situation. It wasn't him that needed to say sorry, for there was nothing that was his fault. Nevertheless, he somehow managed to expose the tension and anger from within me. He was the cause of my frustration. So many thoughts ran through my mind as I debated against myself, defending him, blaming myself, and prolonging the eery silence. Suddenly I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I furrowed my eyebrows in an attempt to refuse tears from fleeing my eyes, instead choking as I suddenly gasped for air. I'd forgotten to breathe.

Another step closer was taken by him. My heart almost ceased, and I froze again, but only for a second so I could cntrol myself. A single tear escaped as I tried to compose my face, and I hesitantly turned back towards my best friend.

My eyes widened as soon as I met his gaze. His face was streaked with tears, so broken and hurt. His shoulders were slumped, as if he'd given up, and his eyes stared into mine desperately for forgiveness... and help. His expression confused me. There was nothing for him to be sorry about. But soon I realised that he was sorry for something else, and I bit my lip so hard that it almost broke under the pressure.

I stifled a sob, and managed to word out a simple sentence.

"It was never your fault, I just haven't been a good friend". I stared pleadingly into his eyes for forgiveness, before collapsing under the door frame, crying my heart out into my hands.

---

I just realised, that a lot of my stories have no thoughts. This took ages to write.

Enjoy,

LOL, Sarah.