Contemplate life; love.

"Time to go home!" My father bellowed through the corridors of my cousin's empty house. His words were almost slurred; attached together when he'd spoke, and it didn't help that his english, though well practiced, still had an unstable accent between Vietnamese and Australian. It's obvious that he'd drank a fair bit, and I wasn't certain that I'd wanted my father to drive us home tonight.

We'd reluctantly pulled ourselves into the car, and my brother insisted on driving, despite his lack of L plates. Upon doing so, he was lectured by a not completely sober father about the dangers of a learner driver on the streets, and how much trouble he'd get for not having his L's up. Dad tried to convince us that he was still in control, as he manoveured the car out of the driveway and into the dim-lit streets. On a number of times, dad leaned forward to catch a clear glimpse of what was ahead of him, and occasionally he didn't drive completely straight; however, we made it home safely.

It was cold, and dark, but I was comfortable. Despite a few unnatural swerves, I was given time to think over the radio music buzzing in the background. I could finally straighten out the thousands of unsettled thoughts in a period of about 10 minutes.

It was quiet, and I contemplated all that was life. Today had a slightly different mood as compared to previous days; it was less vibrant and exciting, and moreso calm, as if I'd lost the energy from a hyperactive week. Actually, I probably was worn out by the nature of this week after all. I continued to replay scenes, episodes of this week: exams, conversations, friends, problems. One was outstanding, though I refused to think more of it. It was an awkward conversation, and something that I'd definitely didn't see coming. I traced my thoughts around this topic, and concluded that I was very excited for the near future; the end of highschool is near, and I am now open to a huge change: gain and (God forbid) loss of friendships, university, and the world of dating. I still hold fast to my policy, and it still rings true that I am most definitely not ready for any kind of commited and intimate relationship whatsoever. I've concluded that eventually entering into that stage would be awesome and a significant other would be God-given, despite my harsh disagreements in present times. As the end nears, I must admit that I am looking forward to exploring new choices, new changes.

No, I refuse to loosen the hold that I have to my policy, and most likely will continue it on. However, I am excited in what God will bring me to next. I'm steadily focused on God, as He will bring me through tougher trials, harsher pains, all to develop my perseverance and stretch my maturity and faith for His glory. And for that, I'm thankful.

Thoughts continued to resound in my head like a loud debate for only myself to participate in. I was happy with the conclustion that my affirmative had come up with, though I'd had no time to hear out the negative as we pulled up in front of my house.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" My dad laughed.

LOL, Sarah.