You Mature Child.

And there it was again; the exact same situation, circumstance, and even in the same environment. I watched you, dazed and amazed yet again, as you poured out your heart; you were so broken and so burdened. It killed me to watch you as you spoke of your sadness, struggle and hardships. And yet again, as it was last time, you spoke hope into your life, you encouraged yourself, and in effect, encouraged others and gave them hope.

The way I saw you was that you hated yourself, and with every wrong action you spoke of, in your eyes I saw regret and frustration. And I simply could not understand you.

Despite your burden, despite your shortcomings, despite everything, I could not see anything wrong with you. You were still amazing, inspiring, dare I say perfect, in my own eyes. It was as if I'd refused to see your flaws; instead, I saw how passionately bright you were in the midst of the darkest and loneliest of times. I saw you how God sees you, and not how you see yourself.

And yet I don't know how I can look at myself the same way. You're still beyond amazing, and I don't understand how I could ever measure up to your tenacity and perseverance.

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And finally, I'm sorry, again, for continuously and absent-mindedly leaving you, again. It's killing me to know that you would feel even slightly annoyed at my actions. I'm trying for you. Still.

I love you.

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I haven't napped in the afternoon today. I'm very tired, and therefore I have a very short fuse. I'm not angry though, I just dislike LOTE quite a fair amount at this present moment in time. Thank you for still reading, even though I haven't been blogging so much anymore.

LOL, Sarah.