This Is Me.

More than the sweetest of words, this is the love I have found.

I woke up today feeling more tired than going to sleep. Once again, I'd completely missed my alarm; I was in too deep a sleep to even notice its constant calls persisting to wake me. Indeed, I was an hour late for my que to arouse from my slumber, but nevermind that. Today, I came back into routine, into the life that I had so selfishly ditched. I'd have to rush the morning though.

I had myself finally delivered home. My mind crashed into a trance, and my body followed soon after. The day was finished, and I could not bare to take up anything else. It was beyond overwhelming. I needed the much needed rest that my body so craved for so long...

... It may have been days, or even weeks that I'd been deprived of comfort, rest, and peace of mind. I'd crippled myself of life's necessities. I didn't even eat properly, given that most of the time, there was nothing that I'd even desired to eat. My throat hurt, I'd lost interest in my talents, skills and even a sense of fun. I'd trained myself a facade that worked so well, I was almost convinced that I really was happy. I know, however, in my heart of hearts, that I was burdened, heavy, tired, and overwhelmed by the demands of this world.

I was cruising down the easy road of life, completely aware that the mountain that I needed to climb was in the opposite direction. I was planning a run-away. The scenes my life flashed passed me in an instant; so quickly they came, and they vanished the same. The road was fast, and I held on tight. But it was then that the sun began to set, and there was nothing I could do to stop myself from going into the blackest of paths.

But I woke up, uneasy, but awake. My breaths were increasingly short, and I was almost gasping for air. I pushed my palms on my heart to slow its irregular thumps, and curled myself into a safe ball in the comfort and security of my blanket and pillows. I squeezed my eyes shut, even though I knew that sleep would not come back. Soon enough, my body was calm, and I felt my muscles relax. Despite everything, I knew that today was different. It was a new day, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt normal.

My attitude is different today, I refuse to change it.

I'm sorry, but it's a sacrifice for our benefit.

LOL, Sarah.