Sunday Mornings.

I woke up this morning,
With you in the back of my mind.

I got dressed and ready,
And I was sure to not forget her umbrella again,
With you in the back of my mind.

I waited patiently in the car,
He flicked the channels constantly to get a good tune,
And I awaited all the things that needed to be done today,
With you in the back of my mind.

I greeted everyone the hall,
Their smiles gave me a filling warmth in my heart,
A smile danced around the weighed down corners of my lips,
And I enjoyed the early morning with the ones whom I loved so,
With you in the back of my mind.

I stood inside the building,
A breeze of cold air seeped into the back of my collar,
Tickling the edge of my neck and sending chills down my spine.
I buried my head in my representative scarf, whilst dazing to and fro,
And I prayed to God, hoping, yet still knowing despite, that I was thinking
With you in the back of my mind.

I walked down the dirty streets,
My closest cousin right with me, walking by my side,
We walked at a steady pace, easing the nagging pain in my leg.
Arriving at our destination, my ineptness brought me in front of oncoming cars,
I almost landed myself in an accident a number of times as we made our way to the entrance.
And as we entered, I stared in awe of the bustle and colour of the familiar building which for so long I missed,
With you in the back of my mind.

I sang a few songs,
Whole-hearted declarations resonated deep within me,
As I began to focus and worship in reverence and awe of You,
I lost myself in a sea of distant God-glorifying melodies and harmonies.
Abruptly, everything finished, and I left the place in a relatively calm state,
I acknowledged the inevitable passing of time, settling myself in the surrounds of the younger generation,
And I waited for him, with mixed thoughts and bubbling emotions I tried to keep in the confines of my tiring heart,
With you in the back of my mind.

I ate dinner with the teachers,
Who chattered and laughed gleefully over a banquet.
I complimented the lighting, the speakers, the patterned walls,
As I helped myself to a generous serving of the numerous platters served before us.
The night ended quickly, and I huddled in the back of his car next to my cousin for any kind of warmth,
We drove back to her car and waved her goodbye, and I placed myself next to him, shotgunning the passenger seat,
Finally, I could talk to him again, as I had missed the whole week, pouring my heart out in a confused, happy/angry daze
And he knew everything that was happening, and he understood my life in a nutshell, but most importantly, that I had this struggle
With you in the back of my mind.

I'm sad to say the least,
That all day long I would have to fight,
I would purposely have to distract myself from such thoughts,
So endearing, so inevitable that they would haunt me, that you would haunt me.
Like a constant battle between the heart and the mind, my heart is cooped up, but ready to explode,
And my mind is fighting against all odds to alleviate the feeling, to even just relieve this torment, this torture.
I simply could not comprehend ever thinking, feeling, or acting this way in any such phase or scene in my entire life,
That this would come as a surprise to me, definitely, though my logic denies it, and my heart aches at even the presence of it,
And that my entire self would be so influenced- no, completely changed but by the simple sight, or even knowing that I would live

With you in the back of my mind.

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Yes, I was meant to write this yesterday, and therefore it would make a whole lot more sense. I had another idea for today, but it seems that I've forgotten it. Yes, I have definitely lost it. Oh well. I hope you enjoy my poorly written poem, or, rather, randomply structured prose.

LOL, Sarah.