I watched him as he paced across the stage relentlessly, up and down repetitively until I was almost dizzy out of my mind. He was talking, yet somehow smiling. It wasn't something I understood when someone smiled and laughed about something that was killing them. I continued to watch him, and I was frozen in shock as I'd realised he was crying.
And there he was, his heart spilled out for everyone to see. He was so vulnerable, like a small child who cried in desperation for his father in the midst of a dense crowd pushing him to the floor, and almost trampling over him countless times.
Suddenly, he wasn't who I thought he was anymore. And it made me feel weak, and ashamed to even be so arrogant enough to think that I knew his circumstances. It turned out I knew nothing about him.
I felt my heart tug at my body to lean over him, just so much as to embrace him, and tell him that everything's okay. I wanted to comfort him in some way, and take his burden away from him. But it was impossible. I could only be lying if I'd even tried to promise that things would get better. In no way could I be able to comfort him of the future, when I was so unsure of the future myself.
But still, he smiled. He kept on smiling, and I knew, that there was a reason behind that smile. I was silly again to even think that I'd be able to comfort him, for who else but God could? I nodded my head in praise and thanksgiving.
---
Paraphrased exerpt of a journal entry, 04/12/08, below.
---
Maturity has revealed a child in me. A child with no worries, because all problems have the same Solution. I have learnt to be happy, and use what I have. I have been revealed the joy of having a Father, a best Friend, a Brother, and a Lover, and having everything I need. I have comfort in knowing that I have Someone who I can lean on and who can carry me when I am weak, yet that same Someone I know will push me when I get lazy and don't want to walk again. I am but a child, and that is what God made me; eager to learn, yet content and always counting blessings. Depending on the One source I know best, and pushing to make my Daddy proud.
And again, I rejoice in this wonderful new relationship I have in God, for Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5:11)
---
LOL, Sarah.
PS. God, why do you let me develop ideas so late at night? I do need the sleep.. and I can't sleep with ideas in my head... ><".
What’s ‘faith’?
6 years ago
1 comment:
This reminded me of when I used to get lost in supermarkets when I was younger...
Yeah bad, I have a hard time coming up with things for my blog entries. It's like I want to write something... But what can I write?
Aha, but I really like reading your blogs! It's really enlightening, should I say.
Ahahaha nooo, I'm not at all that good in English. I'm average at it :) I bet you are! And I've lost my touch for art, sadly, ever since I dropped art to do People & Power History.
I read one of your ealier blogs, the one with the picture of all the Mr. Mens and the Little Missus? Misses? Miss'? Miss's? (See how horrible I am at English?) And that picture was awesome! :)
Do you mind if I add you on MySpace? :$
Post a Comment