Silver Rain Fell.

I am utterly scattered.

---
He just walked onwards, without even a single glance back. How she cried in agony as she was left on the sidewalk, battered, bruised, and torn.

I muttered incoherently, words that I didn't even understand myself. The rain pelted down, hard on my vitiated body, refreshing the pain of my bruises... but these abrasions did not even grasp my notice.

He had ripped out her only heart, along with all sense of logic and reasoning. She lost herself when she lost him.

I felt my heart cave in- no, the remnance of the walls that I'd put up to protect it- began to cave in to the void where my heart once was. Suddenly I could no longer hear the plummeting of rain that had once ago pierced my ears so heavily, nor could I feel the sting of hail as it sliced at my skin. I felt my chest burning, the fire consuming the entirety of every organ within my ribcage. I pulled myself tighter, tighter, and I could feel my ribcage cracking under the pressure, but against this internal fire, it was nothing.

I drew my knees towards my chin, tightening my grip around my legs. I lay there, petrified, unable to move as the rain washed the tears from my eyes.

---
Who knows how long I was lying there before you found me.

I was frozen. My muscles refused to even twitch, even as your warm arms wrapped around me and you pulled me close to your chest. I felt your hastened heart; urgency resonated through its beats as you dashed through the storm. Comparing my own breath to your heartbeat, I realised how short of breath I was; my lungs seemed to be filled with ice, and I could not breathe. I quivered in your arms, and you only held me tighter as you quickened your step, and finally lay me by the fireplace.

I shuddered uncontrollably as I thawed against the fire. I could not move my body at all, but as I began to recover my breath, I suddenly felt the consquences of pressuring my ribcage. Each time I inhaled, a sharp pain was shot at my lungs, and I almost whimpered in agony.

Your voice soothed me, trying to calm me down as you combed through my saturated hair. You tried to quiet me as I cringed, trying to sound out a sensical sentence.

"I'm numb, daddy. I'm numb and I'm empty." I whispered so softly, so painfully.

"I'm still here. I'll always be here..."

But he isn't, and neither is anyone else...

---
How dare you take your friends for granted. Shame.

My perspective has been mangled. I cannot see clearly.

Read this, and criticise me, but you're the one who doesn't realise that relationships are more than just boyfriends and girlfriends, but were friends too.

LOL, Sarah.
I pray that this will be that last most negatively emotive blog I will write. If only I could promise it.

In Blooms.

From little things, big things grow.
- Paul Kelly

I ♥ this song (: It's so cute, and yet it holds such a powerful message that has everything to do with faith. Like a seed.

---
I watched as you filled the plastic cup with a small amount of rich, fertilised soil; deep browns speckled with spots of yellows and greens cascaded into the cup from the small packet you held so delicately. Once the cup was filled halfway, you gestured towards my hand. I'd forgotten that I was holding a tiny seed that spread only a centimetre across my hand. I was holding it tight, afraid that I would lose the precious, nutty jewel.

When I realised that you were asking for what I was holding in my hand, I quickly pouted at you and pulled my hand towards my chest. I squeezed at the jewel a little tighter, whilst ensuring I was delicate with it, and covered my closed hand with another for more protection. I suddenly had the urge to run away in fear; fear that you would steal away what you had just given me.

I was treasuring your gift, so why did you want it back? I pondered to myself as I avoided your gaze. Upon eventually finally daring to turn my eyes towards you, my eyes fell in the gaze of yours. Your cool blue eyes showed nothing but kindness and hope towards me, and I couldn't help but feel guilty; you seemed to only reflect genuine care and love for me. The guilt ebbed away at my heart, and I stepped forward in reluctance.

"Trust me," was all you said. I only wished you could say more to explain your insistant actions as you once again gestured towards me to hand over the seed. I pouted again, and, upon deliberating a little further, I began to step forward.

I could not look at you as I placed the seed in your hands; humiliated and guilt-ridden, as soon as the seed left my now bare hand, I plopped myself on a small stool in annoyance. I stared out the window in ignorance; that is, until you proded my shoulder and told me to watch. I glared at the cup in refusal to look at you, and you dug a small hole into the centre of the soil, before burying the seed within.

I gasped at your actions. I was shocked and uncomprehensive at your actions, so I stood up to beg you to stop... but I remembered I was giving you the silent treatment, so I sat back down again and gazed at the window to disguise my hurt. I pulled my legs close to my chest, and rested my chin on my knees, all the while pouting in anger.

As you began to move away and your footsteps fade into the distance, you called out once again, saying, "Trust me", and left me to sit in my lonely stool.

---
You tapped my on the shoulder, and as I turned, I noticed that you were hiding something behind your back. I'd soon forgotten about the grudge that I held a few days ago. I beamed at you cheekily, and began to prod at you to show me what you were hiding. You smiled back at me, playfully resisting my pokes for a while, before reminding me of the events that occured a few days ago. As I was brought back to it, my anger and upset was returned, and my joyous complexion furrowed into annoyance once again. I looked up at you with unpleasant question, and you just smiled. You handed to me a tiny watering can...

... And then handed to me a small plastic cup filled with rich soil, where in the middle a small stalk supported a beautiful blossoming flower.

"It's in your care now".

---
Wow, I'm totally not re-writing this :p Look at the time it was posted.. and at the moment, it is exactly 11:11! (:

Funny, but oh well. School's fun. I'm full of hope again..

LOL, Sarah.

Dancing Flames.

Perhaps I'm tired of this.

Perhaps... I'm just not graceful enough.

And yet like a strobe in the sky, a rainbow stretches over the blue-grey canvas and covers me with light. I am exposed, naked and yet unashamed, because I know that You are more than enough for me.

---
I'm like a child, seemingly innocent but stubborn in the arms of the One who loves me.

-
The thunders roared, and the rain attacked the earth with bullets of heavy droplets, pounding in on the benevolent soil. The earth saturated all it could muster, but the waters had a mind of their own as they began to flood the plains, drowning the flora of all their air- and their freedom.
The winds howled and shook the dome that protected us, but your firm hold refused to submit the umbrella to the winds' power. I huddled closer to you for your protection, and for the warmth that seeped out from your thick layer of clothes. I wasn't cold, but I shivered, scared by the violent storms that overwhelmed us.

-
Your arm came around me and pulled me close, and in your hand, you revealed to me a warmth that was so delicate and fragile; it sat in its humble container which your fingers protectively curved around, and opened.... you were encouraging me to hold it.

I glanced at you over and over with eyes so chaste, so mischievous as I watched the flame lick at the candle's wick, and thick drops of excess wax dripping from its caved in form. I carefully took the candle from your hand, and held it close to my eyes so I could examine it more closely. I dared not touch it; the warmth teased at me as it flickered against the winds, and I giggled at its dancing flame.

Suddenly, I wanted to run away. I pushed your warm physique away, and I kept the candle close to my face to keep myself warm instead. I couldn't look at you when I did, but I was convinced the this candle was enough to keep me warm. Quickly, I covered the tiny flame with my hand, and, holding it close, I began to run into the storms and into the darkness.

-
My light was limited, and the darkness was becoming eminent. Although the rain was light, my candle's flame was fading. It swayed and flickered with the soft howls of the wind, battling against the drizzle that threatened to eradicate my only source of light. I desperately tried to protect my flame, covering it from the soft sprinkles of water from above, but the wind was catching on from the side, and the candle's flame was slowly diminishing. I panicked when a sudden gust of wind send chills down my spine, and the flame disappeared for a split-second; I sighed in relief when I found a minuscule bud of light emitting from the wick . Tears budded in my eyes as I watched the flame struggle...

I was suddenly shaken by a malevolent rumble in the skies; off guarded, the candle slipped out of my hands, and landed in the mud. Suddenly, I had no light any more. The winds grew stronger, and the rain began to pelt down on me. Thunders began to roar, and lightning strikes surrounded me. I fell to my knees in weary fear, searching for my lost source of light. Tears were streaming down my face, but their warmth was quickly stolen by the rain's ice-cold drops. My hands fumbled around the slimy mud, and grabbed a hold of what once was my light.
Diminished, broken, and gone.

I was alone. No warmth, no shelter, and no light. I wailed and screamed in protest...

-
And I was suddenly scooped into your arms and sheltered by your umbrella. It was still dark, but the warmth from your body instantly calmed me down as you rushed me out of the storm. Cold and shivering, you brought me into a shelter and laid me by the fire...

I stared at the flames in fascination; they licked at the firewood as they danced in the fireplace. Odd pops and cracks sent tiny orbs of light in some directions, which quickly fizzled out as it hit the sand. The fire instantly warmed my heart, and in turn, began to warm my body. I slowly stopped shivering as I continued to stare at the flames, so thankful of its warmth, and its light...

And that it wasn't going to fade.

-
Without You, my fire will fade.
Keep me close, and make me willing to obey You.

LOL, Sarah.

Like A Child; Abundance.

There is nothing more fulfilling to me than praising my Lord God, by which His love abounds in us so abundantly and exceedingly.

As promised to Amy Nhan, to which I would once again begin my blogging extravaganza. I have no clue as to the meaning of what I wrote just then.


---
Despicable. Only two posts an entire month? ONLY TWO?! Horrific. Unbelievable. Disappointing. FAIL.

Hello world, this is me. Life should be fun for everyone. - Saddle Club fun!

---
I am like a child on a journey towards an unknown destination walking hand in hand with You. Young, curious, and vulnerable.

"Look ahead! Focus!" your stern voice echoed in my mind, but I indignantly ignored it as I continued to appraise the silken texture of a single, lone-standing rose. Its brilliant vermilion petals, arced so delicately as the flower proceeded in full bloom perplexed me, each petal carved to perfection in overlapping the other, concealing a hidden secret under its layers. I longed to study the satin-feel of the petals between my fingers; its deep, rich red contrast to my pale skin. I stretched my arm towards the flower, and its body brushed against my skin as the wind aptly pushed against its anatomy. The velvet-like texture tingled against the pores of my skin, giving me a warm, pleasing sensation; a simple touch made my heart flutter in curiosity and wonder. I smiled, and lean closer so that I was within reach of lifting the rose from its roots, where fertile soil surrounded the base of the flower.

Suddenly, as I was about to close my hand around the stalk of the rose, my entire body was jerked and lifted from the ground. Your grip on my other hand was gentle, but firm, and I stumbled into your side as you pulled me away from the flower. I squirmed around in protest, straining for freedom from your grasp, though I knew that despite my best efforts, it was pointless, for your grip on my hand was firm and unwavering. I turned towards you in frustration, and frowned as I met your eyes; glaring, I sought for reasoning behind your restrictions on my behaviour. I quivered suddenly as a tinge of guilt zapped throughout my body; your expression was stressed and tired, your lips pursed, and the corners of your mouth only slightly upturned in attempt to convey your patience for me. The pools of chocolate brown surrounded by milky white conveyed such a love as I glared at you; I looked away in guilt, irritated at your love for me.

You heaved a large sigh, and placed your free hand on my head. I flinched slightly, but soon relaxed as you continued to comb my frazzled hair into place, and loosened your grip on my hand. In a soft, tired voice, you murmured, "Be careful", and turned towards our destination. You began walking, and I realised that you'd given me the chance of freedom. I almost yelped for joy before turning back towards the rose. I knelt down beside it, and impetuously wrapped my hands around it in an attempt to pull it out of the ground. I didn't notice the hidden blades of thorns that lined against the stem of the flower until I felt sharp pains instantly whizzed through my arm from my hand. I w immediately withdrew my hand from the rose, and examined numerous spots of exposed skin, where blood began to dribble. The flower was uprooted, and lay next to me; I took no notice of it, as the ache in my hand began to increase, and a pool of blood made its way into the palm of my hand.

I couldn't comprehend it. My eyes began to water, and I subconsciously retreated my posture into a hunched ball, all the while holding my hand in pain. I couldn't control my sudden downcast emotion, and I hid my head in embarrassment and humility. I didn't want you to see me like this, because I knew you'd be disappointed in me. I began to sob; soon I couldn't control myself at all as the pain grew and tears began to overflow.

A rush of wind blew against my hair, and I was suddenly scooped from the ground, and deep into your chest, where your arms barricaded me protectively. You took my damaged hand and wrapped it firmly in a silken, stark white cloth, and with another, you wiped the tears from my eyes. You began to walk forwards, carrying me in your steadfast arms, but I squirmed in your embrace as I looked back at the single rose left on the pathway. You noticed my urging for the flower, but you resumed walking, and, in a comforting voice, once again said, "Look ahead".

As we turned at the corner of the street, you revealed to me a vast array of flowers, ranging from brilliant red roses to the softest lilac orchids, arranged in a beautiful garden. The scene was breathtaking, and I was overwhelmed with such wonder, joy, and amazement.

With a smile in your voice, you whispered into my ear, "We're here, my child".

---
What you have for me is so much more.

Isn't this exciting? This is part of the 'Like A Child' Series. :)

LOL, Sarah.