Abstract Deception.

Of course, I'm not one who regrets their sleep, no matter how long it may be. Sleep is an infallible state to be in: the almighty cure to weariness, albeit from psychological, to physical, and even emotional causes. Sleep brings about rest, and possibly temporary peace. It also (almost literally) takes you away to another world, a world full of dreams with no expectations, of boundless vision and no effort. It's blatant that I do appreciate my sleep.

But it seems as though, lately, my sleep had led me to a pinnacle of distress. What was once, personally, my cure for not only physical tiredness, but especially to alleviate my emotional outbursts, has become a place of its very own conception of a second fantasized reality with just the same consequences due to my situations in my dreamy state. Somehow, my visionary dreams have turned from such immature illusions as being able to fly or breathe underwater, and instead have become situations which are astoundingly normal, and fantastically real.

The problem, however, isn't that I am unable to fly, or breathe underwater, although I can delight in these childish desires within my dreams, but it is that I am confronted once again with a reality which I already must deal with. Dreams are bizarre, and this fantastic depiction of reality really ebbs away at my apprehensions of situations that could possibly be what I would face in the real. The environment of my dreams: too realistic, and too parallel to what surrounds me whilst I'm awake, and the circumstances, they are like my very own situations, but I am displaced to wind up in one where there is no good solution but for me to hurt...

I wake up suddenly, in tears, far more often than I expect to be; I only cry for two reasons, and this has become one of them. Another is that these second realities are far too like realities, and I am struggling so much more nowadays even to simply get a glimpse of my reality: being awake, being truly aware of my surroundings and the place I live in, not the place I dreamed to be in.

And now I have a new fear: I fear my dreams will overtake me, and I fear not being able to wake on my own accord, no matter how I fight to be awake, because I know I don't belong in dreams. And even then, my dreams now only torment me and punish me. I simply don't know why.

The first day of spring...

This was the first... and no doubt not the last. I am troubled, constantly, and I am growing more weary than ever, for I now fear sleep, even though I need it. It scares me. The emotion which has been invoked by these deceptive realities is real, and has left me in a constant state of distress.

Hmm...

LOL, Sarah.
She doesn't doubt this relationship... so why should I... or why do I?

The First Day Of Spring...

What a nice day today.

I walked along the sunburnt landscape with a rather casual amble in my step. I was dauntingly relaxed, but I assumed it was just the rays of the sun, breaking through the lofty clouds and bathing me in its warmth. The grass bounced and tickled at the soles of my bare feet, bursting in yellows, greens and golds, and tiny red buds sprouted from the bustling overgrowth. A majestic rainbow stretched across the dome of blue, adorned with fluffy cushions of pale white and grey.

This wasn't a dream. A dream provides segments of solutions to end our problems.

I walked towards my best friend, who sat atop a playground painted with only the brightest and most innocent colours. You stood in front of her, seemingly to be in deep conversation... you both got along so well, and my heart sank as I reminisced back to when you and I were the same. An unsettling feeling began to lurch from within my stomach, so I kept the past at the back of my mind, and as far out of my vision as possible as I walked on ahead.

This wasn't a dream. There was no plausible end to what I faced.

You interrupted my stroll when I found you standing opposite me as I tried to make my way past. Assuming that you would move, I walked straight ahead, but with each step I took, I found you taking a step backwards, maintaining a consistent proximity between us. Despite our distance, you carried on with your conversation with her, as if I were invisible... but your subconscious recognised me, and wouldn't stand even an accidental bump into me.

This wasn't a dream.

I felt agitated and intensely humiliated at your refusal to move, but I continued to maintain a composed, calm complexion as I looked up towards you. You were taller than I expected, and you gestured at my best friend in response to her questions. Seeing your lively expressions caused me to flinch slightly, but despite what happened between us, I decided to keep it casual.

"Hey man, move over, why don't you!" I gestured playfully to the left, in hopes that you would resume your conversation without barricading me in between. Maybe I thought it was normal for acquaintances to joke, but maybe we weren't even acquaintances anymore.

... This was a nightmare.

Your frigid eyes pierced into my own, sending shivers down my spine and my playful smile quickly fading in response. Your amusement faded also; suddenly your expression became agitated and violent, and you grasped at my arm so hard that it almost bruised me. With a harsh grip, you thrust me around, swinging me out of your way as if I were a piece of worthless paper to throw in the trash.

I stumbled, but I quickly regained my step along the pebbled concrete, instantly thankful that I was saved from gauzes on my knees and elbows. However, your actions hurt me immensely. My heart stung, and I was disconcerted as I turned around to face you again. I bit my lip hard, forcing back tears of anger and shock. You turned a cold shoulder on me, and my heart plummeted into my stomach... The unsettled feeling from within was bursting out at my very seams.

"What was that for? I was trying to be nice...

"Why did you push me away?"

I blurted out each sentence with more stammer in each one than the last. I was already struggling to breathe; pools of emotion strangled against my mutilated thoughts, choking me and drawing all hydration from my mouth.
This wasn't a question you were prepared to answer; not in front of so many people. You knew that it wasn't about what just happened, because there was more to my question than you throwing me around like a toy.

You looked around, and simply said, "Er, I don't think so" with a tone so cold-hearted and distant that I'd felt my own heart freeze up. Once again, you turned your back towards me, and began to fade into black.

---
I woke up, alone in my bedroom, with tears streaming down my face. I could not comprehend it, nor could I control myself; I'd pulled at the tap's handle with all my might, but to no avail could I even move it an inch...

I managed to find a plug to hold the water in, though I knew it wouldn't last. I saw my best friend in the morning too, just when I'd managed to stop the tap from leaking... but it burst onto his shoulder, soaking him as well. Oh, I'm so sorry about that.

---
What scared me the most was that it was strikingly like my current reality...

But at least it wasn't real.

LOL, Sarah.
180909.

Nightmares Aren't Dreams.

They say that dreams are a collection of thoughts and emotions which illogically solve your troubles.

It's not something to comprehend, but something to accept, and to keep your mind and body at peace. It will keep you asleep in quiet harmony.

The mind is cunning, and will protect you from all dangers. Problems leave you unsettled and unable to sleep, and nightmares cause your heart to race in panic and fear.

But that's what dreams are for. Dreams are our imaginary solution to the dilemmas we face.

If even our dreams can't fit their jigsaw piece into our missing hole and our deepest fears come alive, our bodies know that it's time...

It's time to wake up.

---
So, you're back, and you've come to haunt me in my dreams again. Are you the solution by which I wish to be warped back to the beginning of all this... the beginning of your dominance in my mind?

I do, but only if you lead me.
LOL, Sarah.

Masked Dreams.

Didn't she look pretty today?

She wandered across the hallways, passing through the corridors, greeting those she knew with courteous detachment. Her smile was light, and her steps were soft and unwavering as she moved towards the lockers. Her hair flowed as others passed her, and she daintily dodged potential minor accidents.

Even so, even her petite movements weren't what caught everyone's eye today. She looked different, and everyone noticed the subtle emphasis on her neatly curved eyes. Thin, black lines outlined the rims of her eyelids, and just under her eye, and her pupil suddenly became more alive, and more vivid. It wasn't that she needed this sudden emphasis, for she was naturally beautiful, her pale skin against her dark eyes brightened up her face already. However, this subtle difference gave her some other, more mysterious, unknown dimensions- power, even- whenever she gazed into your eyes. It was no mistake that she was naturally beautiful, and she knew how to flaunt it.

But none of this mattered to her, because all this only did one thing for her. Her eyeliner hid the evidence of her dying heart crying out to no one in the middle of the night.

---
We lined up in a single file to enter the bus. It was rather small, and inside the tinted windows, I could make out the silhouettes of lengthy sofas, and a widescreen TV at the top front of the bus. I squinted my eyes so that I could see more, but the driver growled at us, and began to herd us onto the bus. I was the second to last to get on, before you, and I lazily moved forward in line as the others slowly moved into the bus I grasped at the sidebars for stability, and I pulled myself into the bus, almost lurching into the driver's seat.

The bus seemed more like a ball room than a bus. Chandeliers hung low, their dim light creating a warm atmosphere. The wallpapers were a flowery amber, complimented with a chocolate brown which rimmed the corners and edges of the interior. Long, yellow sofas stretched across the sides of the bus, and complex images were plastered across the windows. The carpet had a dreamy sort of softness, and its olive tone lightened and darkened as us weary passengers loaded ourselves onto the bus, filling it from back to front.

There weren't many people on the bus; two couples, my cousin, you and I completed the guest list of this luxurious ride. Although the sofas looked ever so tempting and comfortable, I settled myself at the front of the bus, sitting on the floor and using the sofa only to lean my back on. As my eyes inclined towards the TV, I noticed your figure stand beside me, and I turned to see you settle yourself beside me. My breath shortened for but a moment, and I turned down the volume of my iPod. The blaring music came to a sudden stop, and I began wrap the cords of my earphones as I responded to your soft, caramel voice greeting me. I fumbled as the cords seemed to fall out of my hands; the only thing I kept a steadfast hold of was the iPod itself, where its metallic orange finish slid neatly between my fingers. My fingers slowly tangled in the mess I made of the cords, and I heard a hearty chuckle beside me. I turned to grease at you, and I watched you smile right back at me. I didn't notice as your hand extended towards mine, and you began to untangle the cords for me. I tried to decipher your actions as I stared into your eyes, and thoughts rumbled through my head as I questioned your strange behaviour. Soon the cord was completely untangled, and you lined your fingers with mine, where I held the iPod, and you began to reel in the cords around my iPod. You wrapped the cords around our fingers, causing them to intertwine*. The palm of your toned hand was warm against the back of my pale, icy cold hand, and your fingers caressed my palm softly, drawing circles in the palm of my hand.

I could not comprehend what was happening, and your actions contradicted your wondering eyes; they were isolated and distant, and turned towards the TV. I stared at you for a while, and eventually turned back to the TV also.

We sat there for awhile, just gazing at the blaring television, until I sighed softly, yawning. As I threw my head back, I hadn't noticed that your arm crept its way behind me, and my neck curved easily into your arm. I shivered slightly at the sudden warmth of your arm, and hastily lifted my head up again, quickly shielding my eyes with my free hand to hide my embarrassment. With my peripherals, I caught you with a slight smile, and you began general conversation with me, as if nothing had happened. I responded to you wearily, trying to work anything out in my mind. I simply could not understand, but you helped me to forget, and eventually gave up and conversed with you.

Though before I knew it, your arm slipped behind my back, and you placed your hand gently on my waist. You shuffled a little bit closer to me, and leaned your head on my shoulder*, whilst responding to my previous question. You tugged at me, prompting me to draw nearer to you, all the while you continued to shuffle a little nearer to me, until our sides were aligned. In my horror, I attempted to throw off your hand with my free one, but as soon as I grabbed it, my muscles went weak, and my nerves tingled as you slowly wrapped your fingers around my hand*.

---
There was more than this, but it's so pointless.

LOL, Sarah.

*remember.

Craving Detest.

Does the picture remind you of anything?

Time to talk about my dream (forgive me, for this is a rather bland blog).

I slept uncomfortably that night, and I woke up with an overwhelming sadness that I simply could not comprehend... I also slept in later than 10AM for the first time since the start of the holidays. It instigated nostalgia, where memories of past dreams and realities that I knew came back to me, and well, it's hard to distinguish between the two now.

---
Twinkles of tiny lights shone down on me, and the moon smiled as I rested myself on a soft bed of grass, gazing at the orange haze that rimmed the atmosphere. Cool, crisp grass brushed against my skin, tickling the tiny hairs on the back of my neck as I settled. I turned to my right, and he was there- that is, the one I would call my closest guy friend, or my best friend, rather. And upon turning to my left, I found myself staring at you, the one I awed and admired so much; you were truly an amazing person. I was confused as to why you were there, but I settled for that fact, for I knew I wouldn't rather lying beside anyone else this pair.

I gazed at his sleeping figure for a moment, chuckling slightly at the alterations of our original plans to stargaze together, and turned back to the sparkling sky. My arms lay at my sides, caressing the soft grass, running my hands over as its stems bounced to and fro, and swayed as the wind softly whistled through my ears. The night was beautiful, and at first, I didn't notice the rustle of grass as you moved closer to me (we were lying about 30cm apart from each other, for personal comfort purposes), reaching your hand out towards me. It wasn't until you touched my hand, skimming yours over my fingers, clasping so gently and drawing my hand it closer to your warm body that I'd suddenly realised the limited proximity now between you and me. My body temperature soared; my face was flushed with an overwhelming heat, so hot that I could feel the cool winds biting against my burning skin. Your hand remained unclenched against my fingers, and only lightly bordered my cold hands with your soft, warm fingers, stroking my shaking skin with your thumb. My eyes widened in shock, and my breath was cut short. I turned my eyes towards you in horror, but you seemed to be sound asleep, aside from the uncanny smile spread across your face. I turned towards the night sky again, and I carefully slipped my hand out of yours, placing it behind me as I sat myself up to control my ventilation. My mind dazed to and fro, calculating and miscalculating the reasons for your actions, confusing me immensely.

I soon gave up, and I returned to lie beside you again, though I ensured to face towards him instead, curling into a fetal position that seemed comfortable enough atop the bed of grass (thankfully I had a pillow with me), and I pulled the blanket we shared over my head to shield myself from the cold. I sighed in scarce worry, and I whispered in his ear about what I faced, hoping he would give me some advice as to what I should do next, but he just laughed at me. I returned to my former spot, humiliated, and I buried my face into my pillow. The grass crunched as you drew closer to me once again, slipping your hand over my waist and resting it there. I began to burn up again, and a tear splintered into my eye as I struggled to keep level-headed. I stared at him as your body moulded against mine, and my mind began to overflow with curses as I squeezed my eyes shut in detest. I didn't want this, and I thought the fight to control this craving was over; my urges were faint, and now your actions left my mind in an uncontrollable self-hating state.

And I woke up.

---
We aren't about to face the path of destruction, but rather, our path faces our destruction, and it is our choice to what we choose to destroy, whether it be our own lives, our family, our friends, and everything that surrounds us... or we can destroy our sins, our griefs, our walls and our demons.

I thought about that in the shower :]

LOL, Sarah.

Perpendicularly Skewed.

Must you haunt me with your constant fantastical reminders and contrast my dreams with my reality?

Two things happened in the past two days.

One.
I dreamt you again, and this time, I fell into your embrace (why do I always seem to fall in my dreams?), and I was instantly flooded with such a warmth. It was as if the sun shone in favour of me, its rays stretching towards me and blanketing me in safe heat, shielding me from the harsh, desolate landscape that surrounded me, where the wind howled and threatened to slice through my skin with its ice-cold touch.
You were hugging me. Your arms wrapped easily around my shoulders, and you comfortably leaned your head next to mine tucked into my shoulder. Your hold on me was tight and secure, and I instantly felt safe in your arms, your warmth dissolving into my skin, warming my cold heart. The hairs of my neck stood on end as I shivered against your body, and I found myself returning your gesture, pulling myself closer as I grasped the back of your jacket. I felt myself urging for more of your warmth; for not even a millimetre of distance between us, and I moulded myself against your physique. I buried my face under your neck, and a single tear pricked in my eye as I dreamed this was real, waking up to the warmth of my electric blanket under me.



Two.
I was weighed down with sleep this morning, and I struggled to ready myself for the upcoming day. I blundered towards the car, and I lazily made an effort to place my bag in the front seat. The door was open, and as I was about to enter, my mother released the brake pedal, causing the car to jerk suddenly as she immediately planted her foot on the pedal again. In my ineptness, my perception became skewed, and, in parallel to movement the car, I felt myself almost tumble. My arms wavered in the air for balance, before grabbing the frame of the door, and my mum stared at me as she spilled with endless 'sorry's while I gained my balance again. I wearily looked at her, confused as to why she was saying sorry. I almost fell on my own account; nothing touched me, nor nothing swayed me but only from my view of the car suddenly jerking did I almost fall.

I almost fell over literally nothing. My mum jerked the car, and I almost fell as a result of that. -___________-

---
I dreamt that we were talking again. You know, I don't think I know you anymore. You've changed. You've definitely changed.

---
I watched transformers today.. and golly, was it good.

LOL, Sarah.

Perception Is Reality.

Look how they shine for you...

I dreamed you again, despite my best efforts to lessen your presence in my mind. Who you are in my dreams, and who you are in the naturalistic world parallel with each other, though in one... you held so much more control over me.

I was in the best place possible, surrounded my most beloved and closest of friends. I had just returned from such a strange journey through a large building complete with dozens of flights of stairs to which I was forced to scale over half a dozen times. Despite the draining exercise, I was still energised as we headed towards the counter, where we would wait for our popcorn to watch a movie. I didn't know of the movie, obviously, because you were buying everything...

But wait, why were you there? I said that it was my closest friends, and yet you somehow managed your way into our little group. I forced my eyes away from you, and instead looked at the intense colours that paved our way as we walked towards the cinema door. I heard you laugh, and talk amongst my friends, and I desperately tried to speed up my pace; my body would not allow it, because I found no control of myself in this world. Suddenly, I felt your hand upon my shoulder, and your arm was stretched across from my opposite side, where my other shoulder was also then occupied with your other hand. You were to the right of me, carrying the popcorn in your right hand, and musing with the others, gesturing images to further articulate your stories. You seemed to be leading me into the right direction, as I found myself shifting slightly towards the left, back with our little group. As I thought, I was unable to move from your tender grasp, and even my slightest attempts to throw of your hand from my shoulder failed to succeed. On impulse, I moved my left hand towards yours, and I desperately tried to manage a grip onto your hand so I could lift it off my shoulder. However, my hand resisted to close in on your fingers, and your hand found a comfortable space in my palm, where I could barely even make a fist. My hand was suddenly frozen to the curve of my neck, and the warmth of your fingers trickled through mine as they danced around in its small, enclosed space that I had made for them.

Not only were you controlling my directional sense, you were controlling my movements, and so much more, my emotions. I've been trying to resist you for so long, and in my desperation, my dreams are beginning to articulate such a fantastical world of which is fake, but of which is what I cannot control.

Why? I've steered my thoughts completely clear of you, and your face haunts me in my dreams. But it's okay. I refuse to lose myself in my dreams, where my perception of you is completely skewed by my personal biases, but instead, I'll acknowledge that I am not changing how I think based on what is fleeting, but what I know to be true.

Perception, is it not reality?


---
*sigh*, I'm cutting into my sleep time again. It's been something that's been haunting me all day, and it's only now where I decide to write about. I'm sorry about the lack of intricacy and detail in this piece, as well as the lack of vocabulary -_-. I'm really lazy with this now, but it always makes me feel guilty when I don't post after 2 days without posting... so yeah.

Tehe, Psychology is by far my worst subject, but I even managed to pull a B for the exam. :) Overall, these are my ranked marks: A+,A+,A,B+,B. I have everything! :) Two A+s, it's NOT a mistake, peoples... -__-.

LOL, Sarah.

Droplets.

No, I don't like you, and whatever 'if' there was, is impossible, even in a parallel world.

A million times a day, I would say a a million things that could find its place expressed in inept words. That is, if I'd written it down, a whole lot more would be done. So yeah, I'm sorry about the bland blogs.

I find it funny that my older brother likes a Miley Cyrus song, and he forced me to come with him so that he could buy it. Even after countless times where I told him he needn't be ashamed.

"I'm not embarrassed!"
*I find the disc and hand it to him*
"SARAH, BE EXCITED!"

....-_-

I had a dream and it was one of those sensual dreams again. I only remember a certain part of it.. where this guy, and I'll name him 'you', had your arms around me, and you were cradling me. Your body sculpted perfectly against my back, and your stoic physique comfortably supported me as I leaned towards you, eyes closed as the mild breezes flicked my hair back, and softly nudged me deeper into your soft yet firm hold. Shivers pricked my skin slightly, though the warmth which resonated from your body quickly eradicated any signs of coldness. Another gush of wind softly ruffled the hair against the back of neck. It was strange, warm, and only lasted about a second; it wasn't the wind, it was you, and in an instant I threw my head back to lean on your shoulder. I sighed, and chuckled as your dark, curly hair bounced above my nose, your eyelashes so neatly curved as I examined your eyes. You were at peace, and I clutched your fingers which were wrapped around my hand, meeting in my palm.

I honestly don't know what I was doing... the first words I ever heard you speak; my dream depicted your voice perfectly, aside from it being even more angelic as it rang through my ears...

"Kiss me"....

I instantaneously moved out your arms in complete shock, turning towards you and glaring at you in the eye for some profound meaning as to why you would even think of saying that; but I couldn't stop myself from being drawn closer to you. I could only control my proximity once I was only inches from you once again, and I scrunched my eyes at you, appraising your composed face, trying to find meaning or depth behind your words.

I need to stop having intimate dreams with people I don't know.

LOL, Sarah.

Hi J.

Let Your Imagination Wild.

You may need to bare with the descriptions. I may have gone overboard.

---

I had a dream.

Patches of dark purple and red stretched over the horizon, looming like a dark, foreboding cloud carrying the weight of the ocean. The entire landscape was carpeted with a thick layer of soft, yet crisp grass which rustled as the cool winds swept over with soothing ambience. I stood in the centre of it all, and I watched numerous shapes emerge from the dense, black grass. Daisies sprang from the loamy undergrowth, sparks of yellows and reds brightened the gloomy scene. The grass suddenly began to shoot up, their leaves brushing against me with quick fury. I could no longer see the tiny daisies that stood so desperately against the grass, and with a loud gush of wind, I was swept away.

The scene changed.

I fell into a large, red reclining chair, and for the first few moments, I just sat there, spinning around slowly, gazing and wondering about the sudden change of scene. The similar shroud of colours from the previous scene was familiar; and I could only make out a poorly lit room which faded into darkness. Beside my "thinking" chair, there was a rather large round dinner table, represented with a solid blotch of red, encircled by a brilliant purple rim. A thin, white vase with a single rose stood in the middle of the table, and a flicker of flame drew me to a candle beside it. As I watched the small flame attempt to reach the height of the rose, I saw a figure form from the blackness, walking towards the table, where another chair awaited her occupancy.

My best friend greeted me with a smile, and I found myself warmed by her soft, cheerful expression, despite the lack of heat that the candle's flame could simply not provide. I pushed myself to move out of my seat so that I could properly greet her, but to no avail was I able to move an inch, so I contented myself with rotating my chair around. After almost a full turn, I saw you. You entered through blackness, just as my best friend had, and stood lazily nearby the table. Your dark hair was fairly thick and messy, cropped just above your eyes, which gleamed that same shine that used to always warm my heart. The corners of your lips perked up to create the smallest smile, although the rest of your face remained composed, and expressionless. Your hands were fastened into your pockets, giving the slightest of hunches in your tall frame; your eyes scanned everything before you, watching me, watching my best friend.

You were just as I saw you, every day at school, but this time, you're a part of my dream. It's been a year since I've known you, and even though I accepted that we would never speak, I couldn't help but be thankful that you were there. And yet this fact, still, intrigued me further. What were you doing here? Why did I choose you to enter at this moment in time?

You took interest in my best friend, and engaged in light conversation with her. For a short moment, I watched on, disgruntled that you did not talk to me, or even take notice of me. However, as I had my eyes fixed on your enlightened face, I saw your eyes flit around, and suddenly you shot your eyes directly at me, and sent me the slimmest of smiles in the midst of your conversation with her. Your smile penetrated my heart in that moment, and I couldn't bare to look at you anymore. I closed my eyes and spun myself away from you while you continued to mumble incoherently with my best friend.

I opened my eyes to see that you were in front of me; we stood opposite each other, and my best friend was no longer there. You seemed taller than I'd thought, and a bent mirror beside us reflected it against the familiar dark background. I examined us in a bent mirror, squinting my eyes for a clearer view. You were over a head taller than me now; I could only reach your shoulder in height, but I knew the mirror was playing tricks on me. I cocked my head to the side in deep scrutiny, and eventually turned to face you. You caught me by surprise; you were exactly level with me, and your eyes shot into me. I hadn't realised that you were holding me so close to you, and I attempted to take a step back. My body didn't will me to, and neither did you.

My heart fluttered with every breath that you blew into my face. I smiled, and nodded my head towards you. You held your gaze, and I could not turn away; you leaned in closer to me, and I hesitated. You felt my body shudder, and you let out a soft chuckle, your chest bouncing ever so softly against mine. Your sudden breath felt hot against my skin, and I squeezed my eyes shut in hope that my cheeks wouldn't turn pink. After a single second, I felt your nose graze against mine; once, twice, and I opened my eyes to see yours still fixed on me. Your brilliant white teeth shone against your cheeky smile, and your eyes darted from my left to my right, longing for my reaction.

And I woke up.

---

Whacked. Took me the whole day to finish this; on and off. I told you I'd write a story, but I never said it was going to be any good. :)


LOL, Sarah.

First, Love.

"I'm gonna steer clear, 'cause I'd die if I saw you, I'd die if I didn't see you there."

It was about at about the same time that you'd began to walk away when I'd began to sink into my imagination. My eyes drooped, and suddenly I was warped into a trance of rainbows and stars. I forgot all about you, our conversation, everything.

It was as if you'd disappeared; you'd slipped like water from my hands into a well that was too deep for my eyes to comprehend.

I was now dreaming.

---

I landed with a loud thud on a large tree branch. It was as if I'd fallen out of the sky, but as I scanned my surroundings, there was no sky to begin with. All I saw were mangled tree branches which were overgrown with the lightest green of maple leaves; they seemed to fade into a cloud of white. I found myself lying on a sturdy branch, which supported my weight with ease. I carefully turned myself over, and almost lost my grip when I couldn't see the ground. In an alarmed state, I quickly turned myself over again, and gasped slightly when I saw your face again.

You looked at me intently before suddenly leaning forward, so that our faces were only inches away from each other. I shivered at your sudden movement, but you swiftly caught me in your arms, assuring me that I wouldn't fall to my death. You stared into my eyes before leaning closer. I inhaled sharply, and closed my eyes tightly turning my face to the side.

I hope you'd understand that this wasn't how I wanted my first kiss.

But you still managed to just graze my lip; you were my first kiss in my dream.

---

Haha, old dream. I wonder who the guy was? ;)

LOL, Sarah.

Humane Desire.

I FORCED LIGHT INTO MY VISION as I struggled to create slits through my heavy eyes. I hadn't realised that I had been asleep for so long. I tried and failed to stir myself from where I lay. My eyes drooped, and I drifted in and out of sleep until the line between my fantasy and my reality could not be distinguished.

I opened my eyes to a well-lit room. I recognised that the light was, suspended on a wooden beam that stretched across the ceiling. There was nothing out of the ordinary of this room, only that it looked so strangely familiar. I was still in bed, curved in a stiff, upright position against the wall. My whole body was tense, and every muscle tightened around my bones, making me forget to breathe. Without noticing, I clenched my hands into tight, white fists beside my body and snapped my jaw together. I was frozen, and I could only move my eyes, examining the figure that had suddenly stood in front of me.

I could not take my eyes off his face. Light freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose and cheeks, which were pale, but full of life. His full lips were curved into a slight, smug smile, but didn't disturb his smooth complexion. His light, copper brown hair framed his face, bouncing slightly to create a careful, curly mess on his head. But it was his eyes that mesmerized me. A cheeky hazel brown pierced into my eyes, as if mine were made of glass. Full of life and reflection, his eyes seemed to smile along with his face. I was still tense, but I could not relieve myself of it. I could not take my eyes off his.

He chuckled slightly, letting me catch a glimpse of his brilliant white teeth. I panicked as he leaned forward towards me, supporting himself by placing his hand gently next to my clenched fist. He laughed at my reaction, and leaned further until his head was rested just under my neck. My heart thumped loudly and clumsily, seeming to be just as alarmed and tense as I felt. He smiled as he closed his eyes, listening to the unsteady beat of my heart.

My fists were now unclenched, and they lightly ran through the ruffles of his messy curls. I could not comprehend his actions, but I was okay with it. After all, this is what I wanted, wasn't it? It was as if he had heard my thoughts, because he gently lifted his hands and wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands smoothly tracing small circles on the small of my back. I stiffened again, but only for a short while; his hands were relieving the stress in my body.

"You need to loosen up," He murmured. His voice sounded more like a thought in my head, but I knew that he had said it. "It's kinda hard," I mumbled, suddenly worried that my weight may be crushing his hands. But they weren't; one hand followed the curve of my spine, the other continuing to circle the my lower back, then soon following. I inhaled sharply, and he gently lifted his head, his eyes gazing into mine.

"I'm only trying to massage you,"He chuckled again, slightly louder and more amused. He leaned closer to my face; his smile smug as he leaned to bury his head in the curve of my neck and shoulder. He lifted me, and released his grip of my body. I suddenly exhaled, and he shook slightly as he laughed again. I was getting tired of his laughing now. I was humiliated, but my thoughts deterred as he hugged at my shoulders, massaging them now. I sighed, leaning my head forward, then sideways so that my cheek rested on his hair. I still could not move the rest of my body.

Suddenly, he let me go, straightening himself as he sat next to me. I fell slightly, hitting my head on the metal frame at the top of my head. I cringed slightly, and glared at him. He chuckled at my reaction. "I know your scent now," he mused, instantly reminding me of Twighlight, "that's all I wanted". He got up and took a step away from me. I watched him, and he turned around to meet my pleading eyes. I didn't want him to go just yet, even though I was content. He smiled again, but his eyes were deadened.

I woke up, again.

~~~

I love my dreams. I reckon I could create a whole story with just them. But I'm thankful that they are just dreams.

LOL, Sarah.

Realism.

The beach didn't feel very 'beachy', I suppose. Its' yellow surface was smooth, and somehow perfect; uninterrupted and still, even with the mass gathering, walking alongside the shore that seemed to emcompass and consume the foundation of which I stood. The waves seemed unrealistic as well; constantly threatening to crush me with their immense crest outlined with brilliant white foam. A few times, they succeeded, drenching me; I was on the ground the second I was overwhelmed by it. It wasn't a wave of water; its' heavy body seemed dry and warm. By the time I had gotten up, the waves returned to water. It was strange that everyone walked towards what almost killed me.

But you where there. And it was okay for me for you to be there. I felt no sensation, warm or cool, but in my heart I was content. As long as you were there. I knew you were watching over me; I knew you cared.

But you left me, your apologetic glance piercing my heart. "I have to go see where she is," you said, suggesting your best friend, "I'll be right back". Your voice warmed my numbened heart, and your "promise" lingered pleasantly in my mind, so I wasn't fazed. I was so sure you were going to come back.

But you didn't.

And it hurt me. I went to look for you; you were in the crowd, along with the many other faces I had become so familiar with. They were all your friends; all my friends, her. It hurt me, but I ignored it, because I know that you can't always be there for me. There were so many others under your wing; they needed care. They needed love. And they needed it from you.

So it was okay. Our mass walked along the now cement path; somehow we were warped from the beach to a busy road lined with shops. Dull, but alive with people rummaging for ornaments and products which they may or may not find useful. Antiques were popular in many of these worn down shops.

You were next to me again; my numb heart was content. You allowed me to cling to your arm as we continued down along the path. You seemed to know that you were the only one I felt that I could hold onto. I knew I looked like a clingy attention-seeker. I didn't care; because that spills the truth. I needed you, and this was the rarest time I could spend acknowledging your presence. I wanted you to know how much I loved you.

We entered a shop. I found myself wearing the jacket that you had given me a while ago. Shrugging it off and leaving it aside, I hugged your arm as I followed you through the shop. It was a vietnamese grocery store.

We left, but seconds later returned. I had forgotten the jumper. A lady with smooth black hair pulled back into a ponytail was behind the wooden counter. Her eyes were a dark brown, almost black, and I tried to understand what that meant. I was never really good at reading people's eyes. She met my gaze and turned around, picking up a blue and yellow school jacket, folded neatly in her arms. She smiled as she gave it to me; I suppose I had stared for a bit too long. I smiled politely, thanking her with courteous detachment.

I found you again, and sighed as I took ownership of your arm again.

But then everything disappeared.

And I was awake.

~~~

:) It's pathetic. I'm utterly horrible at descriptive pieces. But I suppose the more I write, the better I get.
...
So not true. But yeah. It's a dream I had. And no, it's not about someone I "like-like", whatever that means. It's a lot deeper than that.

Dreams are always a bit far-fetched, don't you think?

LOL, Sarah.