Trivial Musings and Earnest Pretense.

My lips are dry and cracked, for I have yet to receive a rush of cool water throughout my body, and I am slumped on this lazy chair which reclines as I will it to by my mere weight - I am in earnest contemplation; that is, of the good things, and of the less charitable. But I figure it is useless to think about such things as these, to repeat excessively a single train of thought which encircles the entirety of my mind in only a second, with which it has no stop to unload its contents, or relieve its passengers of this aimless ride.
And I suppose this may be its only stop, and all I have to hope for is that it will terminate here; undoubtedly, although it may proceed its course in due time, I long for its burdensome carriage to be loosened from it, and remain emptied from this train as it continues its route. And so it stops here, and I can only hope, stays here:
"Hey, are you alright?" They looked over with an eye of concern, and perhaps a tinge of worry, but she was far too perceptive to have been fooled by their facade of care, as she, in turned, turned over to meet their eyes; upon doing so, their eyes of burdened concern flickered and glanced about elsewhere - anywhere but to the seemingly glum figure that sat before them. It was almost as if they could not even bear to meet her eyes, for fear that she would see through them, and she snickered at the failure of such a desperate attempt. She turned away from them, partly hypothesizing possible outcomes if she laid all upon them, but for the most part, in hurt, for their facades of care had considerably injured her.
"I'm assuredly fine, don't you worried," she lied through her teeth, "Although I do seem to be catching a bit of a cold. Ha ha". Her crude reply left her friends smiling and chortling with her, laughing at their silly assumption that there may have been something wrong. She smiled back at them, secretly sneering at their outrageously fake courtesy.

"Oh that's too bad. Well, hope you get better soon!" She was always suspicious about their earnest sincerity in those sorts of sayings; was there really any credibility in any of phrases?- But she said her thanks anyway. They left her to it: falling sick, and inside, hiding her injured heart.
---
And well, I can't fight this feeling anymore. As much as I long to suppress it, it will only strengthen and overwhelm me all the more. Why can't I simply accept what I have? Why is it such a necessity to become a burden to people around me?

LOL, Sarah.