Binary Countanance.

Hello italics, do you remember the post on Sunday, May 17th, 2009? Well, It seems that whatever that meant, I still haven't shaken it. I have just distracted myself from it... And now I'm just scared.

... No, you've been erased.

Maybe you wouldn't know that I'm an excellent introvert. I have some cunning in being able to hide away the darker corners of my mind. Perhaps I am too deep of an ocean, too scary for anyone to explore, and far too cold for anyone to comfortably dive through.

Enough of this.

---
I strode across the front hallway towards the hall of the sanctuary, and my first sights were immediately turned towards the right side; black dots bounced off every spurt of colour, slumped forwards with contrasts of various material: velvet, silk, cotton...
The right side of the church was absolutely packed with people, sleepy Christians whose beds were indicative of the mess of the corridor and the smaller rooms within the building.
A smile flickered across my face as I watched sleepy faces turn about and lips slur words so seemingly incomprehensible. A few cracks of laughter burst here and then, but the overall murmur sounded like soft pellets of rain on the deck late at night.
I would have taken my seat by a few friends I'd normally spoken to, but there were no seats to my avail. I smiled at the thought, and proceeded to greet everyone I'd fell in love with.

This twice-a-year tradition struck me as memorable, as feeble as it seemed; that somehow we'd become so full that we absolutely had to be sent out... And just so, we dispersed.

---
My heart has become too full of fake words and deceitful lies that you've fed me. I only wish I could give you more than what you've taken, but you seem to be ignorant of something deep, and all you want to know is to feel loved.
So does everyone else.
So do I.
But I don't ask it. I only accept it, because I already know it deep inside my heart. Despite all these overused thrashes of phrases so innocent and seemingly heartwarming. Besides all that, I know they care for me.
I don't need to hear it.
I wish I didn't need to hear it more.
But this is for you anyway, because you need it.
I miss you.

LOL, Sarah.
Don't just say you miss me and never talk to me again. Don't lie to me like that.