Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Flawless.

You eyed the piece critically, subconsciously half-squinting whilst doing so. I stayed quiet, making sure you were allowed the complete experience without disruption. I couldn't help but fiddle with the zip on my jacket, and you shot an annoyed glare at me, scaring me into staying completely still. I mouthed a quick sorry, then fastened my hands together, and closed my eyes.

You sighed, and leaned back into your chair; you'd finished appraising the piece. I hesitantly squeezed open a single eye to search your face for some glimmer of approval, but I found only a tired and frustrated face.

"It's okay," You said simply, "some parts aren't that good, but it's overall okay."

I'd only wish you wouldn't see all the flaws anymore; instead focus on the good coming out of it.

---

Romans 8:28. :)

LOL, Sarah.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Smile, Boy.

I closed my eyes as I let the breeze whip through my hair. The sun had just set, and the wind sent chills through my body. A single street lamp desperately flickered on and off, trying to maintain a constant spot of light to ward off the lingering darkness. Trees created threatening shadows, attempting to envelop me with the unpredictable dark. They shook malevolently as another gush of wind sent goosebumps to my bare skin.

The flow was constant; this was it. I smiled, and allowed the wind to take control. My mind instantaneously flashed incoherent thoughts; I mistrusted, misjudged, doubted, the pictures in my head lit up like bright fireflies in the dusk, screaming an alarming case of danger. Adrenaline shot through my body, urging my muscles to tense up and catch myself, yet I maintained a fluid motion; I continued to fall backwards. But for a split second, I almost fought for my life.

Maybe you wouldn't catch me at all; maybe you'd let me fall this time around. Maybe you'd already gone... you'd already left me without warning. Maybe you would break your promise again after all.

My eyes shot open in horror, and all the muscles in my body tensed instantly, but I was too far back, and my legs already gave way. I opened my mouth to scream, but it was replaced with a muffled "oof" as my head and your chest collided, followed by the rest of me, which would have almost left us in a messed up heap had you not maintained a firm stance. You caught my arms with your own, and quickly wrapped our limbs around my waist to keep me steady. You immediately stepped forward, straightening me up to help me stand steadily on my feet. My legs wavered, and I almost fell right through your arms; you caught me again, and I was only inches away from having a bruised bottom. Just as I tried to stand, you released your hold, and I fell to the ground with a loud thud. The crickets nearby deadened their chirps to leave a short moment of mocking silence as I groaned at the bruising pain that you caused.

You chuckled, and walked around to face me, towering over me like a giant with the intention of crushing me. You were barely recognisable in the dark, but your eyes glittered cheekily, and your lips curved into a faint smile as you stuck your hand in front of my face. I refused your offer, hiding my shaky hands as I pushed myself up to meet him at eye level.

I stared deep into your magnificently bright eyes for a moment; and you did the same. Eventually, you lost your smile, and your eyes lost their shine. I continued to search your eyes for a short while longer, before cocking my head to the side and furrowing my eyebrows.

Smile, boy.

I squeezed your cheeks, then forced a smile onto your face. You bared your teeth unwillingly, and purposely sprayed my face as you laughed at me again. I flinched away from your saliva,, and threw a sharp glare are you. But I quickly joined in your laughter; my hands left your cheeks as you learned to smile without my handicap, and flung my arms around your neck. As if on impulse, you responded instantly, wrapping your arms around my waist; we pulled each other close into a tight hug. You chuckled as you lifted me off the ground, and I gasped as you left me hovering for a few seconds, before giving me control of my legs again. A sharp breeze splintered through my flannel shirt, and I buried my face into your chest again for warmth, giggling as I did.

At least for tonight, we're okay. At least I knew that we weren't turning away from each other, if anything.

---

Woot! Finally! Another story! I'm soo happy. Haha. It's so dramatic, but I put in a lot of time and effort into it. ;) I wanted to make it good.

And yeah, I do love you. I kind of think you're ace.

LOL, Sarah.

Yield Hurt.

We used to be like magnets. We hovered around each other, so close it was almost claustrophobic between us. We weren't bothered by each other's company, and we maintained conversations towards others without being distracted by our proximity. Numerous times, we'd bump into each other; arms, elbows, hands. Sometimes it was as if we were conjoined twins attached from the shoulder.

We were closer than just acquaintances, but you have reduced me to believe that we're almost hardly friends. I'm trying for us, but it's just not working anymore. It hurts to pull all the weight like this.

Don't say that everything was nothing, because it always is something. You knew it; I still believe it. But throw it away anyway, because I know that you believe it's for the better.

But you could at least warn me when you do.

LOL, Sarah.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

We're All In This Together... Haha.

Hi there.

I need goals. And I need to be constantly reminded of them.

No, these are not New Year's Resolutions, because of this: http://thiswhitemansworld.blogspot.com/2009/01/resolution.html.

I'm getting way off track. I need to balance my life, and keep the balance consistent. I need my consistancy to be maintained at a high level of faith, trust, and perseverance. I need focus.

SO. This is the list.

- Maintaining a steady level of reading and studying the Word of God.
- Meditation and devotional/prayer time every morning and night.
- No more procrastinating, please. Start doing homework and actually study. It helps.
- Balance my social life with my school life.
- Let God be in everything. Be reminded of His promises, and be comforted.
- Spend more time with family; not time fighting. Actually, resolving come to understanding.


I am going to hate this list so much. I may as well put on things I want. HAHA, just as a random side note.

- A Ukelele!! I WANT ONE SOO BADLY. :'(
- I need a bag.. and a wallet... and shoes. LOL.
- Still want an IPod, but not as much anymore. I don't really neeeeeed it.
- Same with.. err. I forgot.
- A watch. Yeah, a waterproof one that still looks cool.
- Friends. LOL :) I always want more friends.
- A turtle. CHYEA MAN.
- A keyboard.

Yeah, I can't be bothered. Stupid holidays have made me lazy (it's an excuse for me not to blame myself... guh).

Pray for me; I kind of need it.

---

Hey, boy. I know we don't seem to know each other that well. I still think you're ace. You haven't changed a bit; I love how you're like that. Don't change... and if you do, warn me.

Thanks for stuff. Haha.

---

I guess we can still relive the moments, huh? Keep growing girly. :)

---

LOL, Sarah.

Friday, January 2, 2009

We Fit Nicely.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.

It's messy, complicated and perplexing, and it contains what seems like a million pieces that we have no idea how to fit together.

Some pieces, we can see little pictures, but they don't make sense until we join something else onto it.

Others, we try and force together, even though we know it's just not meant to be. As much as we try, we're only damaging the scenario. We're creating marks and scars in our life.

We don't know ourselves what we're meant to end up like. We can only see our choices to piece together; we only see the little pictures that eventually join up to create a masterpiece.

Yet maybe we can't finish it ourselves.

God's got the bigger picture, and when we let Him choose the pieces that really do go together, He'll turn our life into something ridiculously beautiful.

Even the pieces that we attempted to jam together, broke, and threw away...

Our life isn't complete without our flaws. God's masterpiece isn't beautiful until He has left His mark.

---

This is a really unsatisfyingly boring blog. But I'd wanted to write it for a while now...


LOL, Sarah.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

"God's Perfect Will for You and Your Lifetime Partner".

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But [this is what] God says:


"No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfactions to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you."

"You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or belongings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan exisisting, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest thing and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait! Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Dont look around at the things others have recieved. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you."


"And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine. you see, until you are ready and until the one i have for you is ready (I am working this very minute to have you both ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have planned for you, you wont be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me..and this is perfect love. Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly - I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."


Remember that God has a perfect someone reserved for you. No need to rush. God will find a way for you to meet "THE ONE" just at the right time. In God's perfect time. This way, there'll be no regrets."

- Quoted from my adopted mother and great friend's blog.

Happy New Year.

You are far beautiful, beyond anything in this world.

It's a new year, but most of all, it's a new day. A fresh day, filled with countless opportunities and wonderous blessings.

My resolution is for consistency and balance. To develop a committing heart. And to recite Your promises; readying myself for Your glory.

LOL, Sarah.