Hazard Signs.

So it seems that I can't keep my promises in the blogging world...

Saying we makes me feel better, because maybe others feel the same way.

---
But everything is stuck. Stopped in its tracks. Like a car with its tire dipped in a deep pot hole filled with sticky mud, a log hinged between the wheels of a train, or a jet trying to achieve lift off, but its engine is choked by unfamiliar matter.

Stuck, and hazardously stuck, like a car accident which causes an inconvenience to those trying to go about their daily lives. That ambulances, fire brigades, and other authorities of service are needed because of our troublesome, messy selves. We're the inconvenient mess they have to clean up when we're scattered and so numb in shock at the situation we've caused, all because of our ignorance and selfish greed.

Yes, we're a wreck at times. We get help, and surely afterward, we're armoured with new equipment to prepare us for a similar situation. We have a newer, sturdier helmet, because those collisions almost gave us serious head-damages. We're ready again soon enough, with the foothold of others.

We just can't do it by ourselves.

---
I tire of this. I felt the biggest fake today, and I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth again. I am horrified.

But I have so many blessings... I of all people should not be one to complain. I am blessed.

LOL, Sarah.
I like finding pretty photos, it makes me happy.

A Tremour Of Sentiment.

The long awaited. The highly anticipated. The new exhilaration following this heart-felt warming sensation.

---
Trying to slow the motions of time down.

Afraid to close my eyes, because my dreams will steal away what I could so willfully use.

Conscious of communications, in case I get carried off into a world that dismisses the thoughts of time.

Reluctant to move an inch, knowing that every contraction, every reflex, every tension, steals a moment that can never be taken back.

I could stare at the clock, watching as the repetitious arrows encircle its centre, inevitably winding closer to my deadline meet.

So scared to have an inkling of fun... because they say that time flies when you're having fun. Motionless, I would stare at the clock. It's fairly relaxing; I like relaxing... It's fun.

But there's an impossible loophole to my theory of slowing down time. The definite strokes of the clocks are undeniable; unstoppable. I'm in a losing battle...

---
Have you ever noticed?
How the soft rumbles of your heart can only be heard at a standstill; in an almost-silence occasion where we do nothing but halt our fidgeting bodies.

I can't help but think about the murmuring of our hearts; how they echo through the halls of our arteries; its steady beating bringing a soft momentum the subtlest of reverberations throughout our bodies. How, as we lie in darkness, listening to the sounds of the clock ticking ever so nonchalantly; the winds cooing as they return with the life of wings- creatures of the sky huddling within their nests, protecting their newborns - the cooling hum of the refrigerator in its dutiful maintenance of keep; the soft snores from neighbouring rooms, or from outside, where a single dog nestles in the comfort of his own house...

... That our fingers softly, unconsciously drum on the sheets, our toes twitch at the slightest just under the doona, and that each hair on our head rustles softly as it finds a new place to settle. As we are at a standstill, our heart beats at its loudest, still working strenuously and tirelessly to keep us alive, even as we sleep.

And once more, our hearts thud in our ears after an adrenaline rush. Amidst the journey, we can only focus on the destination at hand, but we fall across the finish line, exasperated, and all we can hear is the sound of our heart, still working, so earnestly and diligently to relax our aching bodies. Only once we've stopped ourselves can we hear the sacred sound of a heart so worn, so exhausted, and yet in our tribulation, our hearts beat at their loudest to let us know that we're still alive.

They haven't given up on us just yet.

LOL, Sarah.

Maladroit Gesticulation.

I want to fast forward to the future. Forget all the plans that we have now, and get to the ceremonial ends. Who says the journey is all that matters? I don't want it, not anymore...

---
It's an awkward feeling.

The sun shimmering off my pale skin, warming me to the core. I could relax in the wonder of its warmth as it hangs in the sky, reaching its rays around me like a warm hug. With the same hands, it rolls back the curtain of clouds, leaving a spotless blue sky with just the atmosphere to magnify the sun's allure.

But the sheer winds disconcert me and discomfort me, cutting with its cold, invisible touch and sending shivers throughout my body. I'm inexplicably confused by this juxtaposition of the sun, how it gently draws me near and lures me into the indulgence of its rays, whilst the harsh billowing of the winds, which cut at my skin so insincerely and so relentlessly, alter my body's longing to relax. It almost sways me towards rejecting the warmth of the sun, despite the security I found in its embrace.

I wonder weather... I should stay outside and embrace these trying times, where the environment that surrounds me is as natural as a sinful earth can be, otherwise return to a safe-haven where I am caught by the man-made, the unnaturally warm, and the eternally deficit.

... Like my electric blanket.

---
Whenever I look at you, I can't help but to not be able to recognise who you are anymore. I'm unsure, but I can't seem to hear your voice as one whose is familiar, nor can I understand any of your actions. It's as if I don't know you anymore, and I simply don't know why.

---
I feel like a water balloon, filled time and time again with water, so much so that I cannot bear to withhold anymore. I am on the verge of breaking, but I have been suppressed at just the right time so that I can be tied. However, I am so afraid of breaking; so scared that one motion of just a tiny bit of too much force, explosions like water balloons would drench the dim concrete.

I don't want to push this, but I will savour this moment of such a profound satisfaction. After all, I've been stretched, and I'm pushing at my limits, but am I not so full?

...

I feel somewhat exhilarated; unnaturally, a sudden euphoria envelops me at this moment, and it is most certainly unshakable. An abrupt overflow of peace settles me, despite...

---
Yes. Blame my mood swings again, but it cannot stop this peace... at least not for now. Thank God that He answers prayers.

I'm so sorry for the extremely emotive blogs; inconsiderate of me to even think that anyone would be interested in the intensely personal aspects of my life. Sorry, and I hope you'll still read... to you few readers out there!

Each image I post up not only heavily corresponds to my post, but also, each has a link to its original whereabouts. I have been using many photos from deviantArt lately, so support the artists, and check out their works! :)

LOL, Sarah.
This post is proudly dedicated to anh Jon Tran. Ain't he "wheaty"?

White Liar.

It's been bothering me.

I keep thinking back to last week; that evening where we just sat in the car, listening to smooth tunes of John Mayer.

I thoroughly enjoyed the peace whilst I was with you; that is, until you challenged me with the simplest of questions, stuttering my speech and entirely overwhelming with the suppressed emotion I kept so quietly until now. I couldn't look at you, and I couldn't answer you straight away. I could not bring myself to lie to you, but I simply could not tell you the truth of the effects of the events of my past week. I instantaneously zoned out on the question in effort to shrug it off, but you persisted, your concern ringing through the air as you almost nervously asked for my assurance that I had been alright.

No matter how I tried, I could not bring myself up to giving you the truth. Disconcerted, I barely mumbled the words you just needed to hear. My speech became slurred, and shaken as I tried to tell you the lie as truthfully as I could for what it was worth. You accepted it, and flowed on towards better conversation as I looked out the window, with an egg of self loathing hatching once again within my heart.

I don't know why I lied, nor do I know why I can't face up to it.

It's just been bothering me.

---
The word "love" has become overused, overlooked, misinterpreted, misused, disregarded and underestimated.



It's funny how some of the closest people to us are so far away, and the ones that we consider closest and close are close with so many others, not giving us the time to be even closer , and yet the one's that aren't so close seem to be our only close friends. We wish we were closer, but the ones close we aren't so close with at all...



---
Gosh, I'm so desperate to keep up with my blog posts as to stoop as low as going back to the very basis of my beginnings of the world of blogging: MySpace.

Written 2 years ago.

LOL, Sarah.
Please, just flood me with pure water, not the polluted seas of oil and debris.

Amuck Ruckus.

You just know that there's something up when...

It's 11:33 in the evening- no, I'll correct myself- AT NIGHT, and you're hungry.

I'm so hungry! I spoke the very words to emphasise how hungry I was, and as I continue to write this, I still cannot deliberate that it was effective in any way whatsoever. :\ I'm a strange person. We'll deal with that soon enough though.

I've written a few more sentences on my little white box, and to answer Amy's 2 questions: It's something like a time capsule, except I have no intention of burying it; it can just sit on my table where it's easily accessible when I need to write something...
Which reminds me, I do remember my youth group making a time capsule and burying it in church in like 2005 or something lols... to this day, we can still not find it (: Gotta love youth.

And with the no Facebook thing.. if anyone's noticed, it hasn't gone very well, although I HAVE indeed limited my time on Facebook, which I find myself prideful of (eg. now, I'm not using Facebook at all!) Same goes for MSN. Not off completely, but only online occasionally. (:

I want to get something to eat, but I don't want to eat at midnight. Midnight carbs = winter fat body. Also, I already brushed my teeth.

---
Going to rant because I feel like it.

I seriously don't understand why people can mispell people's names... Wait for it... Wait for it...

ON FACEBOOK. Seriously guys! The person's name who you're addressing is just above to the left of your little comment boxes. It's something called common sense, by which even I can talk, despite my lack thereof.

---
Remember the 'word of the day'? Soo last year, huh? Well. Chagrin is today's word.

Today was Muck up day, and despite our lack of participation in the senior's activities (it was as if we were in prison. No one could go in to our classrooms, and no one could leave), especially the little action in the art room, I can still smell the remains of eggy fart bomb.
Oh, they egged the school like crazy.
They broke a window because of this 'lock-down', and vandalised every sign they could lay their paint on.
And police came.
Some dude decided it was smart to egg the security guard.

It was pretty good, only we were locked in like little fishes in a tank. We had no hope of leaving our classroom thanks to our PMS-like teacher. -.-

Although I'm disappointed with the costumes. Under-average much?

---
I refuse myself aping you any longer.

No matter how I use the word 'ape', it just doesn't sound smart. It's meant to mean imitate -.-

LOL, Sarah.
I'm still hungry.

Cielo.

Heaven was the Garden of Eden.

Heaven was the untouched forests; the tall trees that have not been choked by pollution.

Heaven was the everclear oceans; the waters left no room for critters to become extinct.

Heaven was the clouds aloft in the sky; unfogged by black and gold poison.

Heaven was the horizons; only majestic mountains dared to reach heaven.

Heaven was man and nature living in harmony; we have caused the cracks in the ground to become grand crevasses in the deepest of valleys.

Heaven is earth without sin.

LOL, Sarah.

Silver Rain Fell.

I am utterly scattered.

---
He just walked onwards, without even a single glance back. How she cried in agony as she was left on the sidewalk, battered, bruised, and torn.

I muttered incoherently, words that I didn't even understand myself. The rain pelted down, hard on my vitiated body, refreshing the pain of my bruises... but these abrasions did not even grasp my notice.

He had ripped out her only heart, along with all sense of logic and reasoning. She lost herself when she lost him.

I felt my heart cave in- no, the remnance of the walls that I'd put up to protect it- began to cave in to the void where my heart once was. Suddenly I could no longer hear the plummeting of rain that had once ago pierced my ears so heavily, nor could I feel the sting of hail as it sliced at my skin. I felt my chest burning, the fire consuming the entirety of every organ within my ribcage. I pulled myself tighter, tighter, and I could feel my ribcage cracking under the pressure, but against this internal fire, it was nothing.

I drew my knees towards my chin, tightening my grip around my legs. I lay there, petrified, unable to move as the rain washed the tears from my eyes.

---
Who knows how long I was lying there before you found me.

I was frozen. My muscles refused to even twitch, even as your warm arms wrapped around me and you pulled me close to your chest. I felt your hastened heart; urgency resonated through its beats as you dashed through the storm. Comparing my own breath to your heartbeat, I realised how short of breath I was; my lungs seemed to be filled with ice, and I could not breathe. I quivered in your arms, and you only held me tighter as you quickened your step, and finally lay me by the fireplace.

I shuddered uncontrollably as I thawed against the fire. I could not move my body at all, but as I began to recover my breath, I suddenly felt the consquences of pressuring my ribcage. Each time I inhaled, a sharp pain was shot at my lungs, and I almost whimpered in agony.

Your voice soothed me, trying to calm me down as you combed through my saturated hair. You tried to quiet me as I cringed, trying to sound out a sensical sentence.

"I'm numb, daddy. I'm numb and I'm empty." I whispered so softly, so painfully.

"I'm still here. I'll always be here..."

But he isn't, and neither is anyone else...

---
How dare you take your friends for granted. Shame.

My perspective has been mangled. I cannot see clearly.

Read this, and criticise me, but you're the one who doesn't realise that relationships are more than just boyfriends and girlfriends, but were friends too.

LOL, Sarah.
I pray that this will be that last most negatively emotive blog I will write. If only I could promise it.