The Nonsensical Prose.

This neglect was inevitable. I never much could flow with the trend; I'm a traditionalist, of course, as quickly as I try to fall into the latest fads, it seems much more like falling through clouds of foam in the sky, only to be met with crisp air once again as I dive back into the earth's atmosphere. No, these were only phases that I would do my best to fit well in, and perhaps I would be absorbed in them for hours; no weeks, and possibly even months on end. Just like this blog.

But I can't be contained by these constantly changing trends, fads, phases, call it what you want. I'd as soon fall out of the sky like a condensed vapour too soon after it has been elevated to the clouds above. I simply cannot do it.

And I need to address you. I need to tell you that I am done being selfish. Nothing is truly mine, and I cannot ever say that who I love will fully love me back. I will no longer hold you to myself, for I no longer want to think that I deserve more than what I am getting. I am content if you love me, and I will still be content if you love me less.

There is no jealousy when I look upon you and see your friendships blossom like the spring flowers in the early morning breeze, sprinkled over with tiny droplets of dew. But you are more like the seasons, constantly changing to suit your needs, to hide your own inconsistencies, whilst I battle against your polarities; how I struggle to find my foundations in the murky soil, all at once dry and thirsty, as well as saturated almost till I drown, and stand with all of you.

But I simply cannot. I am a pebble among a sea of rocks, and whilst you may have smooth edges as I do, I cannot slot comfortably into an opening where your rough cuts would not scratch at my delicate surface. I simply need to be left to nestle by myself, and be churned, shaped and weathered not by you, but by the winds, the waters, and the sun.


They say ignorance is bliss, but I say ignorance is the one thing that will tear even the closest friendships apart. I know this from experience, that you simply cannot ignore something, and hope to the Heavens that one day it will be alright. Because that one day might never come, and by the time you realise it, it's too late. Like it was for him and I.

I hope it isn't too late for us. But I retain myself from suffocating you with my presence.
Be free. Be lively. Be happy, even if it's without me.

LOL, Sarah.