Straight Lines Are Blurry.

i feel like a shaken bottle of soda ready to explode, except everything is holding me down and i can't escape from the pressure building up inside of me. i'm being pressed into the walls of my glass prison, and i'm paralised by the liquid that's drowning out even my smallest of whispers. my only escape is the temporary relief of stillness; those rare moments where even though the pressure hasn't lessened, but at least i'm not being thrust from side to side, and top to bottom and the pressure isn't suffocating me more than i am. i would try to open my eyes, but even a peep would singe my pupils and envelop me in clouds of darkness. i've lost perspective of everything; anything i think of is blown out of proportion.

i just want to scream your name, and i want to let you know everything that i'm keeping hidden in my heart. i long for you to pry open this old, rusted lid that i've kept myself under, and that you would have any longing to quench your thirst of knowledge for who i've been, who i am, and who i'm trying to be.

i just want to confront you and tell you that you are the best person i've ever met. i don't long anymore for any of this "us" nonsense. i just want you to grow, and delve in such joy and love in and through everything; be confident in who you are, and know that nothing's impossible because of Him.

and you, yet again i am astounded at how much i'm allowing you to take control of my life. i don't want to do this to myself, but you're there and you're making it happen.

LOL, sarah.

I wish I could say what was wrong with me, but I can't. My only hope is that you would be so keen as to endeavour to hold my hand whilst I go through this, and trust that I will get through. I'm sorry about these blogs lately, these random outbursts of emotions. I'll get back to proper writing soon enough.

PS. I decided to write a tad differently.