Earnest Pleading.

Forgiven - Sanctus Real.

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in
the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain,
wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don't fit in and I don't
feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the
arms of Christ

LOL, Sarah.
Sanctus Real have the most down-to-earth and simple lyrics... I can only relate.

More Than Words.

I had a dream about someone, and I think it's the first time I've ever dreamed of that person this way. It's been a while since I've dreamed this kind of dream... and it had to be about you.

Here's a shoddy go at an I-have-no-idea-what-style-this-is-but-whatever poem. (:

---
Just what is it about words that move us so?
When a string of words hangs alongside an orchestra of music,
why is it that we do sway,
to the eloquence of harmony, melody, and lyric,
which are, for our lips, a newly paved way?


Why is it that when one paints a picture with words,
The subject could be tragically beautiful,
Or on the contrary, beautifully tragic?
That words become the ticket to endorsing what is bountiful,
Or that words may just lead the way to utmost havoc?

When a combination of phrases, sentences, and paragraphs
Come together to be presently linked,
Why are we suddenly pulled into magnificent whirl,
Where pictures, painted by black and white print,
dictate us as a character in a new imaginary world?


When a single person speaks just words to the world,
So that all may understand,
Yet with such fervour and such heat...
Why is it that it brings some to stand,
And other still, end up down on their knees?

When a single word is spoken, just tell me how?
How does the crowd know to be silent,
And with another, to applaud with standing ovation?
How is it that they respond to the very instant
from keen observation of a new word revelation?


How is it that a single word brought into motion:
The sun to stretch its rays and shine
Down upon a fresh, new, beautiful day?
And how does another word hang the moon in the sky,
And make it smile through the winter haze?

How indeed, did a single breath of a single word
Call together the heavens and the earth
In celebration and worship to the Lord
As yet another whisper, to humans, gave birth?


And finally, what is it about just one word
That it would encapsulate in a single moment the revelation
We have longed for: the ineffable culmination?
The majesty, the wonder,
The glory, and the splendour,
The awe, the dominion of the one who supersedes any expectation?

Just what is it about the word 'Jesus'...

---
And there's my pathetic attempt... -_- I didn't know how to finish it! Forgive me. I've been working very hard on this, though (: I hope you like!

Wallowing Awe.

The earth begins to shake, and the clouds gather in tumultuous fury. Thunder rumbles, and causes the earth to tremour in absolute fear. Droplets fall quickly, and all too soon become silver bullets penetrating the parched soils of the earth.

The clouds weep uncontrollably, and the earth wallows in its salty, dirty tears. The thunders bellow and roar, and vast claps of lightning encompass the gloomy sky. The clouds wail in fury, and with each cry, thunderbolts pervade throughout the mourning darkness.

But beyond the fury and the majesty of the tempest dysphoria, there is no more than broken anguish. The formidable roars are no more than the constant wailing of a morose heart, and the thick blanket of black is no more than a veil to disclose a grieving storm. The thunderous claps and clamours of lightning are no more than the bloodshot eye of the storm, drenching the deserted earth with its flood of tears.

And perhaps the storm is no more than a reflection of the sheer sadness of God as He weeps over His dying creation.

---
Jesus wept...

... And the earth cried along with Him.

And we, who are nothing, are swept into the awe of Christ, and we are immersed in the eternal presence of His majesty.

LOL, Sarah.

Keep My Heart Alive.

What I find is that the most seemingly profound and inspirational quotes are simply common sense. The metaphors and similes that complete it add that extra imagery; that extra emotion, that invokes us to think it amazing beyond comprehension - how we think we could never think the same thing... and yet, we unequivocally agree to it as if they were words meant to be breathed from our mouths.

---
I have stumbled, yet I am caught in arms of love. I have deserved punishment, but overwhelmed by grace. I have been hard pressed on every side, but God is pushing me through it.

And I can only insist that strength of character isn't really about our strength at all. For as firmly as we wish to stand upon some foundation, and as much as we try to run towards our goal, we fall short. Our movements are restricted by the weakness of our bodies, and we are inevitably pulled down to the ground time and time again.

If anything, we cannot rely on our own bodies to cope. And we cannot rely on others to wait for us for as long as we are down.

But I am determined, for I know that in all my weakness, in all my pathetic performance, His strength is made perfect. I cannot hold onto anyone, and I cannot hold onto myself. But I can hold onto God, whose grace IS sufficient, and strength is perfect.

We have nothing but intention. But when our intention is set on God's glory, in all knowing that it is HE who makes all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, our intention suffices.

I have nothing I can attribute to so that I can pick myself up, other than my certainty that God does not want me lying here, tattered and torn in pieces. And I know this one thing: That God, in all His splendour and majesty, walks right by me, guiding me, and leading me, and showing me His way.

And He carries me on his back when I cannot stand any longer.

"It was then that I carried you".

As long as I believe.

LOL, Sarah.
Title by Sanctus Real from the album 'Pieces of a Real Heart'.

Amalgamating Convictions.

The John Mayer Concert.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It was amazing! I'm still super excited and I just can't hide it. It was definitely the highlight of this Monday... and probably this week. Possibly this year, and years to come. ARGH I still feel the adrenaline rush. Ahh, John Mayer. (: Could God make any human any more beautiful?

It lifts my mood, and I smile every time I think about it.

It's a good thing that I think about it a lot.

---
And the day after the event was not unmingled with unhappiness; even so.

I tried my best to make you happy for all of these years. My biggest goal was to make you laugh, and to make you feel loved. For as soon as you were happy, I felt that I could help but be happy myself. But the moment that I am happy without you, you seem to stare at me with such a look of scorn and distaste. And so it seems that I cannot be happy without you. I absolutely must only be happy when you are, and if there is something enlightening to me that I cannot relay towards you, I must do my utmost to conceal it from you.

So there you have it. I am sorry that I cannot help myself sometimes.

---
I suppose I am a bit weary these days. Things will come to you straight for a short while. And that, the truth is that I'm losing confidence. I'm uncertain, and thus I shudder at even the faintest whisper of wind. I am trembling more than ever, and though my steps are small, I am stumbling to and fro, and rocking back and forth in utter confusion, utter precariousness. I still believe in my God, in all this uncertainty, but I am selfish. Too selfish. I want more. I want too much.

Of course I cannot blame you. Who wouldn't run away from me? I am dangerous, I hurt unknowingly, and so much more painfully than any other simple, sad, and shallow acquaintance. I had foreseen this, and I made sure you knew as well. But I could not help myself. This was an opportunity that I thought I could not miss. Thus I did not, and consequently, I feel like I cut the rope, and burnt both ends, and I can only wonder how you hold up after my nasty affliction.

I feel a little sad. And a little alone. But I am determined to not let this selfishness overtake me. I only want to need my God. For His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and His grace is sufficient for all of my needs. And His love conquers all.

Such beautiful things to think about.

LOL, Sarah.

The Last Sunset.

So it will be the last time I talk of the dying world. But it painfully glares at me, desperately nagging at me to do something about this. But what can I do? This world is too big for me. There are too many things; too many man-made things that I cannot undo. What can I do for you world, that people may see you the way I see you? Not just to see the paved path whirling into your death; no, but your beauty, your majesty, your glory. Just what is it that I am meant to do, so that people will see how truly beautiful you are?

I cannot. I am feeble and inept. I have my visions, but my visions fall short of faith and deeds.

So this is the one last time I will talk of this dying world. This is where I say what it truly means to me. What these sights, these visions truly mean to me.

The chokers of the earth are man-made destruction. It is our efforts to make our paths straight, to place glory upon ourselves, and to look at ourselves in majesty and awe.

But the gleaming beams of the rich warmth and radiance of the sun, is God's glory, breaching the destruction of man, persisting in being seen... but our own desires, our wants, long to block away the beauty of the sky, the comfort of Christ's warmth. We want to do things our own way, to block out the glory of God, and to lead our own lives. And we're killing ourselves in the process.

But God's glory will still shine. We just have to turn our eyes to the skies, and we will see Him, in all His splendour and holiness. Even when the world's seams are stripped away, He is still there, and in the face of our uncertainty, He holds us in His arms, and comforts us.

---
I only show you what I choose to show you... so what would happen if I show you everything I long to show someone else but myself?

LOL, Sarah.